Thursday, September 6, 2012

Something To Think About

"For her part, my mother was probably more alike him than he suspected, the chief difference being that showing her husband affection was among her duties. Though she might harshly reprimand a servant or child, in his presence she was always soft-spoken and demure. She deferred to his opinions, flattered his vanities, and endured his rebukes with meekness. Love was a choice she made, and then made again daily for the remainder of her life. From her I learnt that a woman should not expect her happiness to come from the man himself, but from those acts of devotion she showed him." - Debra Dean The Mirrored World

You've often heard me say "this book really made me think" but I'm not sure I always do my job in explaining what it was in the book that made me think. Sometimes it's an entire concept or theme, as in The Book of Job. Just as often it's likely to be a particular passage that really strikes me, a passage that's not always the one that makes it into my review.

Then the other day I read the above passage in Debra Dean's The Mirrored World that really lit up my brain and made me wonder what you would think about it. The first three sentences raised my hackles; I am not a wife who walks on eye shells around her husband. Those last two sentences, though, I wonder if they wouldn't resonate with all married women. In all things, I truly believe that our happiness must come from our own actions, our own choices. What do you think?

I'm hoping to bring you "Something To Think About" periodically, as I come across other passages that I think might make for good conversation. I hope you'll join me!


  1. I do agree that our happiness comes from our own actions and choices, but I don't know about the end of that sentence...that her happiness comes from "those acts of devotion she showed him." Yes, it makes me happy to do things for others, but that's not solely the reason for my happiness, and this paragraph seems to imply (to me, anyways) that her mother's happiness was all tied up in her relationship with her husband. I want my happiness to be more independent.

  2. I love this idea...I'm pondering it right now. Will be back to add my thoughts! It's late and I'm ready to go to bed.

  3. My second review in two days of this book. The other blogger said it did not do anything for her so this is another view of the story. Thank you for the post.

  4. I agree with Jill about the happiness being more independent but I do think that there is much to be said about the harmony in the household and sometimes it take a little bit of work to maintain that. I have worked really hard to make my marriage one of partnership rather than one of us catering to the other--although there are times when I am more heavy handed in trying to keep the balance and there are certainly times when Scott is more heavy in that balance. It's a constant ebb and flow but we work together at it. There are some people, however, how really seem to thrive of acts of kindness or love--this is great but it also seems like a lot of work. ;)

    Great idea for a post series, Lisa.