Brother and Sister by Diane Keaton

Brother and Sister: A Memoir by Diane Keaton

Read by Diane Keaton

4 hours, 29 minutes

Published February 2020 by Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group

Publisher’s Summary: 

When they were children in the suburbs of Los Angeles in the 1950s, Diane Keaton and her younger brother, Randy, were best friends and companions: they shared stories at night in their bunk beds; they swam, laughed, dressed up for Halloween. Their mother captured their American-dream childhoods in her diaries, and on camera. But as they grew up, Randy became troubled, then reclusive. By the time he reached adulthood, he was divorced, an alcoholic, a man who couldn't hold on to full-time work—his life a world away from his sister's, and from the rest of their family.

Now Diane is delving into the nuances of their shared, and separate, pasts to confront the difficult question of why and how Randy ended up living his life on "the other side of normal." In beautiful and fearless prose that's intertwined with photographs, journal entries, letters, and poetry—many of them Randy's own writing and art—this insightful memoir contemplates the inner workings of a family, the ties that hold it together, and the special bond between siblings even when they are pulled far apart. Here is a story about love and responsibility: about how, when we choose to reach out to the people we feel closest to—in moments of difficulty and loss—surprising things can happen. A story with universal echoes, Brother & Sister speaks across generations to families whose lives have been touched by the fragility and "otherness" of loved ones—and to brothers and sisters everywhere.

My Thoughts: 

In the early years of their lives, Randy and Diane slept in the same room, sharing a bunk bed. When they moved into a new house, they no longer shared that room. Grown Keaton wonders if Randy's life would have been different had that not been separated so early, had he had a friend to confide in every night, had they not had other siblings. She ponders the "what-ifs" had Randy been raised differently. But she doesn't throw blame and she doesn't make excuses for his behavior or his troubles. Randy was blessed to have a family who cared so much and never stopped trying to help him. 

Keaton was candid and honest about how difficult Randy's mental health and addiction were on the family and on her She struggled to be honest about what was happening, to be caring. But she also found she needed to be tough when it was called for. 

As Diane's rose to fame, she had to also straddle Randy's descent. Fortunately, her rise allowed Randy to have the best care possible for the rest of his life, something she became well aware of being hard to find, even when you have money. In the end, Keaton is able to look back with humor at the things Randy did and be in awe of the way his brain worked and not entirely sad by the turn his life took and the toll it took on the family. 

It's so wonderful to hear Keaton's voice and I highly recommend the audiobook. But I know that I missed out on those photos, letters and art. I'm thinking a read/listen option is the way to go with this one!