Sunday, October 2, 2022

Life: It Goes On - October 2

Happy Sunday! It is, once again, a sunny one here. Wish I were able to get outside and keep enjoy it; but I have too much to get done today, so I'll be enjoying it through the open doors and windows. 

This past week took an unexpected turn when my brother-in-law's mother passed away on Wednesday. The Big Guy and I ran into Lincoln Wednesday to make sure my dad's house was ready for company and to be there when my sister and her husband arrived. We went in again Friday evening to deliver a meal to the family and Saturday for the funeral. They have lost, as we did when my mom died, the rock of their family and my heart breaks for them. 

Meanwhile, the work to be done at my dad's continues; we stayed later on Saturday so that I could get some more sorting and packing done. One moment I think that we are in good shape and then next I panic about the amount still to be done. Fortunately, the only things that I absolutely need to worry about are the things he is taking with him and even some of those can be brought to him after the move. 

Last Week I: 

Listened To:
 I'm listening to Wilkie Collins' The Woman In White, which I'm reading for R.I.P. Did I mention that I'm participating in both that and Something Wicked Fall (hosted by my friend, Michelle, over at Seasons of Reading? 

Watched: Husker volleyball, Husker football, NFL and HGTV. The usual fall fare for me. 

Read: I was reading Denisa Mina's latest, Confidence, but it was returned to the library so now I'm racing through Lian Dolan's latest, Lost and Found In Paris. Dolan's books are chick lit with a level of intelligence that raises them above being merely light fluff. 

Made: A new brownie recipe for the dinner we took in Friday that I'm told was terrific. I'll have to make some for us some time. 

 Despite the sad occasion, we enjoyed getting to see both of my sister's kids and their significant others this weekend. But, let's be honest, the star of the show (for everyone) was my great-nephew, who is ten-months old and has the best disposition. Miss H finally got to meet him for the first time - she was so happy!

This Week I’m:  

Planning: More sorting, more packing, more trying to figure out floor plans and where everything will go at my dad's new place. 

Thinking About: All those impacted by Hurricane Ian. I'm happy to hear that everyone I know that was in the path has come through it largely unscathed but so sad for those who have not. 

Feeling: Excited - I got a new phone this morning and I'm looking forward to having time to sit down with it to see what features this one has. I didn't actually need a new phone; but Miss H did so she got the one I had and I got the new one. I mean, if I'm paying, I'm getting the new toy!

Looking forward to: Tomorrow my dad and I will go meet with the folks at the complex he's moving to and will sign final paperwork AND get to see his apartment. 

Quote of the week: "Things that we love tell us what we are." - Thomas Aquinas

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

Afterlife by Julia Alvarez

by Julia Alvarez
Read by Alma Cuervo
6 hours
Published April 2020 by Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill

Publisher's Summary: 
Antonia Vega, the immigrant writer at the center of Afterlife, has had the rug pulled out from under her. She has just retired from the college where she taught English when her beloved husband, Sam, suddenly dies. And then more jolts: her bighearted but unstable sister disappears, and Antonia returns home one evening to find a pregnant, undocumented teenager on her doorstep. Antonia has always sought direction in the literature she loves—lines from her favorite authors play in her head like a soundtrack—but now she finds that the world demands more of her than words. 

Afterlife is a compact, nimble, and sharply droll novel. Set in this political moment of tribalism and distrust, it asks: What do we owe those in crisis in our families, including—maybe especially—members of our human family? How do we live in a broken world without losing faith in one another or ourselves? And how do we stay true to those glorious souls we have lost?

My Thoughts:
I'll be honest - I picked this book because it was an audiobook that was available and not very long; it was helped by the fact that it was written by an author I'd heard speak a few years ago and was really impressed with. 

Julia Alvarez books are (it seems to this reader who is only on her second Alvarez book) always full of things to think about and to discuss. Here Alvarez touches on family, sibling relationships, immigration, culture, loss, mental illness, and loss of identity. In addition to the questions the publisher's summary asks, I felt like Alvarez was asking us to consider what we owe others and what we owe ourselves and who should we put first. More than once Antonia, when trying to decide what she should do, thinks of the airline imperative to put your own mask on first in an emergency before you try to help others. 

We are often asked to consider if a book is character or plot driven. When I finished this one, I really wasn't sure what the answer was. A lot happens here but I never felt like the action was the true point of the book. Then, too, although we meet a lot of characters here, we only truly get to know Antonia. In the end, I wasn't even sure I knew where Antonia's brain was at. Or, for that matter, what was going to become of any of the characters. As much as I loved all the questions Alvarez asked, her beautiful writing, and all of the references to literature (and Cuevo's reading), I guess I just wanted some answers to what happened to the characters. There are, after all, no answers to so many of the questions the book raises.  

I'm evidently alone in that opinion, though. It was one of Kirkus Reviews Best Books of 2020 and Entertainment Weekly called it a tour de force. 

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Life: It Goes On - September 25

Happy (again, sunny!) Sunday! It's been a roller coaster of a weather week here (maybe for you, too?). Upper 90's Tuesday, sweater weather Wednesday, hot again Saturday, perfect today. That's September in the Midwest. It's convinced me to go all in on the fall decor. And by fall decor, I mean there are now pumpkins everywhere. The Big Guy hit up the pumpkin patch for me over his lunch hour the other day and came home with a big wheelbarrow full of pumpkins and gourds. Which seemed like more than we could possibly need. And so I bought nine more of various sizes today.

Last Week I: 

 Listened To: I finished Julia Alvarez's Afterlife and played a mixed bag of music while getting ready in the morning. 

Watched: College football and Husker volleyball. 

Read: I finished Elizabeth Strout's latest, Lucy By The Sea and started both Denise Mina's Confidence and Jodi Picoult's Mad Honey

Made: Pioneer Woman's corn cakes with avocado salsa. So much work, and what a mess, but we enjoyed them as a meal. 

Enjoyed: Breakfast with TBG's brother and sister-in-law today at a place TBG has been wanting to try to years. Nothing fancy, perfectly good food; the company was terrific and we are loving having them in Lincoln full time now so that we can enjoy time with them on the spur of the moment. 

This Week I’m:  

Planning: My blog feed has not been working for several weeks. I'm planning to either get that issue resolved this week or to try to find one that is more reliable. 

Thinking About:
My mom. I have so many questions as we come across things that raise questions no one can answer. Everything I touch in my parents' home brings memories of time with her. 

Feeling: Except for an unplanned trip back to Lincoln today, it's been a very, much needed, relaxing weekend. 

Looking forward to: Dinners on the patio this week. The forecast looks like I'm going to get a lot of time out there this week and I'm all about spending as much time out there as I can before the weather gets to cold to enjoy it. 

Quote of the week: “Happiness doesn’t have just one address.” -Anonymous

Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Ancestor Trouble (A Reckoning and A Reconciliation) by Maud Newton

Ancestor Trouble (A Reckoning and A Reconciliation) by Maud Newton
400 pages 
Published March 2022 by Random House Publishing Group
Source: my copy courtesy of the publisher, through Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review

Publisher's Summary: 
Maud Newton’s ancestors have vexed and fascinated her since she was a girl. Her mother’s father, who came of age in Texas during the Great Depression, was said to have married thirteen times and been shot by one of his wives. Her mother’s grandfather killed a man with a hay hook and died in an institution. Mental illness and religious fanaticism percolated through Maud’s maternal lines back to an ancestor accused of being a witch in Puritan-era Massachusetts. Maud’s father, an aerospace engineer turned lawyer, was an educated man who extolled the virtues of slavery and obsessed over the “purity” of his family bloodline, which he traced back to the Revolutionary War. He tried in vain to control Maud’s mother, a whirlwind of charisma and passion given to feverish projects: thirty rescue cats, and a church in the family’s living room where she performed exorcisms. 

Her parents’ divorce, when it came, was a relief. Still, her position at the intersection of her family bloodlines inspired in Newton inspired an anxiety that she could not shake, a fear that she would replicate their damage. She saw similar anxieties in the lives of friends, in the works of writers and artists she admired. As obsessive in her own way as her parents, Newton researched her genealogy—her grandfather’s marriages, the accused witch, her ancestors’ roles in slavery and genocide—and sought family secrets through her DNA. But immersed in census archives and cousin matches, she yearned for deeper truths. Her journey took her into the realms of genetics, epigenetics, and the debates over intergenerational trauma. She mulled over modernity’s dismissal of ancestors along with psychoanalytic and spiritual traditions that center them. 

Searching, moving, and inspiring, Ancestor Trouble is one writer’s attempt to use genealogy—a once-niche hobby that has grown into a multi-billion-dollar industry—to expose the secrets and contradictions of her own ancestors, and to argue for the transformational possibilities that reckoning with our ancestors offers all of us. 

My Thoughts: 
Had I shared with you recently that I've been thinking about taking a break from blogging and focusing that time instead to genealogy? A number of things have been driving me that direction and this books is one of them. I don't have nearly the colorful family history that Newton does (a friend once commented that my childhood was like something out of a sixties television program) but I'm yearning to learn more about the reality of our families, not just their names and dates of death. Newton, on the other hand, had some (well, a lot) of questions to be answered in her research, not the least of which was to understand why she is the person she is. 

Newton's father routinely severely punished her for things like getting a B+ (he is no longer a part of her life). Newton's mother did nothing when Newton told her mother that her stepfather had raped her. Her granny warned her to watch for signs of mental illness in herself (Granny's own sister had spent most of her life in a mental institution after having danced naked in the streets). How could she be the product of these people Newton came to wonder. 

As Newton begins to research her family history, she discovers that it's not simply enough to know about her ancestors. She needs to know the "why" of how she became the person she is because of who they were. This leads her to research epigenetics (I keep coming across that study since I read Jamie Ford's The Many Daughters of Afong Moy, which introduced me to the idea), neuroscience, genograms, and spiritual practices. Newton ties a piece of her own personal ancestry and life with her research into each of these subjects making them more understandable for the lay person. 

You know you've read a book that's important when it doesn't just inspire and educate you, but when reviews of it show up on NPR and in the New York Times (and I highly recommend looking up those reviews because they are certainly more eloquent about this book than I am). 

Newton asks a lot of questions, many of which can't be answered. But this book certainly has me asking questions and hoping to find answers of my own. Although, as Newton found out, we won't necessarily like the answers we find when we begin looking into our ancestors. 

Sunday, September 18, 2022

Life: It Goes On - September 18

Happy sunny Sunday! The leaves are, happily, no where near as golden here yet. I know so many of you are all about the arrival of fall in all of it's glorious color, and I'm not against that color at all. But this year, for some reason, I can't get past the idea that fall is nothing more than a season of things dying as winter approaches. Someone send me your best ideas for living in the season!

Last Week I: 

 Listened To: I finished The Perfume Thief and have started Julia Alvarez' Afterlife. It's read by Alma Cuervo and she's excellent. 

Watched: The Big Guy has been out of the house a lot these past few days so I've had the television to myself. Since I've been listening to Hamilton in the mornings, when I'm getting ready for work, it was time for a rewatch of it, as well. I also watched a couple of episodes of Orange Is The New Black as I work to get through the series. I'm not loving this final season (and, also, Miss H is not here to watch it with me) so I've not been in a rush to watch it. 

Read: I'm still reading Elizabeth Strout's Lucy By The Sea. I must admit, as much as I like Lucy as a character, it's not the book for me right now so it's work to read it. I'm not really sure what is the book for me right now, as nothing seems to really grab me and pull me in. 

Made: With TBG out of the house so much lately, I've been cooking even less than normal this week. I did make a salad for a potluck dinner last night. An eight-year-old sat at dinner with me and I was so surprised to see her picking through the lettuce in that salad to try to find the purple onion! 

with Lori in Lincoln's Railyard
(yes, that's a whiskey/coke at 10 a.m. - 
don't judge!)
 We had ourselves quite the day yesterday, on the road to Lincoln at 7 am to get out ahead of game day traffic. We started at a work-related pregame party where we enjoyed a yummy breakfast. Then we met up with a friend (who I met through blogging and who know works for DYI MFA which any aspiring writer should check out) who had come up from Oklahoma for the game. We did the obligatory time in the Railyard with several hundred of our closest friends (well, they were close, anyway, once we had to squeeze under the awnings when the rain started). 

We finished our day at a potluck dinner with my dad's neighbors on the patio of neighbors who have become family over the past 46 years. Except being a little humid, it was a lovely evening highlighted by my dad singing his friends a farewell song and talking about the highlights of living in the neighborhood for 54 years. TBG and I were both so caught up talking to people that neither of us took one single picture!

This Week I’m:  

Planning: As this week will officially bring in fall, I'm planning on decorating for fall. Also, my neighbors have a dumpster in their driveway; we're hoping they'll invite us (as they have when they did this previously) to put somethings in it so I'm planning on getting rid of somethings in our basement so that things can be rearranged. 

Thinking About: We are now only about four weeks away from my dad's move so this week I will do one of my favorite things (I'm not even kidding when I say that). I've taken measurements of all of the furniture he's planning on taking and I'll cut out scale versions and plot it all out on a floor plan of each room of his apartment and think about how it will all fit best. 

Feeling: I slept nine hours last night and it was just what I needed. I have so much energy today and, now that I'm back to doing my physical therapy exercises my back is feeling so much better. 

Looking forward to: Book club this week. 

Quote of the week: “You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing.” – E.B. White

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

The It Girl by Ruth Ware

The It Girl
by Ruth Ware
432 pages
Published July 2022 by Gallery/Scout Press
Source: my copy courtesy of the publisher in exchange for an honest review, through Netgalley

Publisher's Summary: 
April Clarke-Cliveden was the first person Hannah Jones met at Oxford.

Vivacious, bright, occasionally vicious, and the ultimate It girl, she quickly pulled Hannah into her dazzling orbit. Together, they developed a group of devoted and inseparable friends—Will, Hugh, Ryan, and Emily—during their first term. By the end of the year, April was dead.

Now, a decade later, Hannah and Will are expecting their first child, and the man convicted of killing April, former Oxford porter John Neville, has died in prison. Relieved to have finally put the past behind her, Hannah’s world is rocked when a young journalist comes knocking and presents new evidence that Neville may have been innocent. As Hannah reconnects with old friends and delves deeper into the mystery of April’s death, she realizes that the friends she thought she knew all have something to hide…including a murder.

My Thoughts: 
Kirkus Reviews: "...the mystery disappoints." 
The Wall Street Journal: "...may well be her best book yet." 

Guys, I'm sad to say that I fall closer to that first comment than the second. What I've come to expect from Ware is a book with a fish out of water heroine, a constant sense of danger, and a book that keeps me spellbound from maybe 100 pages in on to the ending. 

This one has the first. 

But, I'm sad to say, I didn't feel much of a sense of danger until nearly the end and the suspense only arrived, for me, about one hundred pages before that. And, in the end, the "why" of April's murder fell flat. 

I didn't care much for April or Hannah. Oh, heck, I didn't care much for any of the characters but that just called to mind Donna Tart's The Secret History which is the predecessor of all murders/college setting thrillers. Tart pulls that off better. 

And I'm really sort of over dual timeline stories. 

And yet...

I still raced through this book. Because Ware writes terrific settings and the question of who can you trust was compelling. Every one of Hannah's friends seemed to have some potential motivation for killing April and you couldn't be too quick to write any of them off. So, for me, not Ware's best work (that still remains The Turn of the Key) but it was worth the reading and just what I needed in a book when I read it. 

Sunday, September 11, 2022

Life: It Goes On - September 11

Happy Sunday! It's a beautiful, sunny day here - just the same kind of day as it was 21 years ago on this day when we woke and everything was normal...until it wasn't. 

I meant for this day to be a productive one around Casa Shep, but I'd forgotten that I had an author event to attend in the afternoon with a friend. Then that just carried over to dinner with our guys on our patio. hours after I first left the house (and a half bottle of wine!), I cleaned up the kitchen and decided nothing much more was getting done around here. But it turns out to be just what I needed!

Last Week I: 

Listened To: I continued to listen to The Perfume Thief last week, which I'll finish tomorrow. I also listened to a couple of Glennon Doyle's podcast, We Can Do Hard Things.

Watched: Football - le big sigh. My teams did not fare well this weekend. 

Read: I finished two books last week! Both of which I also reviewed! Yeah, me - it was a good week. Seems I can read when I've discovered that I'm behind on reading that I've committed to for TLC Book Tours. This weekend I finished Maud Newton's Ancestor Trouble. Tonight I'll start Elizabeth Strout's lates, Lucy by the Sea

Made: Onion dip and bruschetta - yep, that's about as creative as I got all week. Again. <insert another big sigh>

Enjoyed: By sister and brother-in-law were down to pick up some things from my dad's house and to help get things sorted and packed before his big move. I took off Friday to give myself extra time with them. 

This Week I’m:  

Planning: After a couple more days of cat sitting, we'll finally be able to leave our basement door open again which will allow us to work on cleaning up down there some more. Both The Big Guy and I need to part with some things down there (ok, a lot of things), which we're more committed to doing now more than ever. 

Thinking About: Bed. It's been a busy three days and this should have been done before it was nearly bedtime. 

Feeling: It's getting harder and harder to pack things up at my dad's house but harder yet to watch him see the home he and my mom created being dismantled. 

Looking forward to: Saturday I'm meeting up with a friend I met through blogging, maybe ten years ago. At that time, she was a college student. She's now married to a man from Nebraska and, thanks to him bringing her this way, I've gotten to met up with her a couple of times before. Can't wait to see them again!

Quote of the week: “It didn’t matter how big our house was; it mattered that there was love in it.” — Peter Buffett

Friday, September 9, 2022

Rise of the Black Quarterback: What It Means for America by Jason Reid

Rise of the Black Quarterback: What is Means for America
by Jason Reid
288 pages
Published August 2022 by Andscape
Source: my copy courtesy of the publisher, through TLC Book Tours, in exchange for an honest review

Publisher's Summary: 
In September 2019, ESPN's The Undefeated website (now Andscape) began a season-long series of articles on the emergence of Black quarterbacks in the NFL. The first article in the series was Jason Reid's enormously popular, "Welcome to the Year of the Black Quarterback." The series culminated with an hour-long television program in February 2020, hosted by Reid himself. The Rise of the Black Quarterback: What It Means for America will expand on Reid's piece—as well as the entire series—and chronicle the shameful history of the treatment of Black players in the NFL and the breakout careers of a thrilling new generation of Black quarterbacks. Intimate portraits of Colin Kaepernick, Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, and Kyler Murray feature prominently in the book, as well as the careers and legacy of beloved NFL players such as Doug Williams and trailblazing pioneers Marlin Briscoe and Eldridge Dickey. Reid delves deeply into the culture war ignited by Kaepernick's peaceful protest that shone a light on systemic oppression and police brutality. Fascinating and timely, this page-turning account will rivet fans of sports, cultural commentary, and Black history in America.

My Thoughts: 
You all know how much I love football. Every year, at the start of the season, I vow to myself that I'll read a book about it. I mean, I already own a couple, so it shouldn't have taken TLC Book Tours offering one up to me for me to get around to it. But it did. And then I missed my review date. <Insert emoji of shaking head> 

Fritz Pollard one of the first black players and became the first black coach of a professional football team; two years later, he became the first black quarterback. It took sixty-eight years for their to be another black coach. 

Pollard is only one of the black pioneers in professional football who Reid profiles. He also touches on George Taliaferro and Marlin Briscoe, who was pulled in as quarterback in 1968 when the Denver Bronco's quarterback was injured. He started five games and did well...then was let go at the end of the season. 

Reid also profiles black quarterbacks from historically black colleges including James Harris and Doug Williams who both went on to have illustrious careers in the NFL. Williams was the first black quarterback to start in a Super Bowl game. 

Reid moves on to look at today's group of superstar black quarterbacks, including Patrick Mahomes, Kyler Murray, Russell Wilson, and Lamar Jackson, four of the best currently playing. Even so, there remains a paucity of black quarterbacks in a league with 32 teams, especially when you take into account the percentage of black players, overall, in the NFL. Those that play still face racism, both overt and more subtle. Reid says that the unwillingness of teams to hire black quarterbacks sends a message that black men are not as intelligent, not inspiring, or not good leaders. 

Reid is a good writer (he is after all, a professional sports writer) and gives a good overall accounting of what it has taken to get to the point where the young black quarterbacks can get the respect...and money...they deserve (well, insofar as any player deserves the amount of money NFL players make). It's a good read, especially this time of year, and a fine lead in to looking deeper into the racist history of my favorite sport. 

Thanks to TLC Book Tours for including me on this tour (and my deep apologies for not getting this posted on time!). 

Thursday, September 8, 2022

Winter's Reckoning by Adele Holmes, M. D.

Winter's Reckoning
by Adele Holmes, M.D.
256 pages
Published August 2022 by She Write Press
Source: my copy courtesy of the publisher, in exchange for an honest review, through TLC Book Tours

Publisher's Summary: 
Forty-six-year-old Madeline Fairbanks has no use for ideas like "separation of the races" or "men as the superior sex." There are many in her dying Southern Appalachian town who are upset by her socially progressive views, but for years--partly due to her late husband's still-powerful influence, and partly due to her skill as a healer in a remote town with no doctor of its own--folks have been willing to turn a blind eye to her "transgressions." Even Maddie's decision to take on a Black apprentice, Ren Morgan, goes largely unchallenged by her white neighbors, though it's certainly grumbled about. But when a charismatic and power-hungry new reverend blows into town in 1917 and begins to preach about the importance of racial segregation, the long-idle local KKK chapter fires back into action--and places Maddie and her friends in Jamesville's Black community squarely in their sights. Maddie had better stop intermingling with Black folks, discontinue her herbalistic "witchcraft," and leave town immediately, they threaten, or they'll lynch Ren's father, Daniel. Faced with this decision, Maddie is terrified . . . and torn. Will she bow to their demands and walk away--or will she fight to keep the home she's built in Jamestown and protect the future of the people she loves, both Black and white?

My Thoughts: 
Remember Sunday when I was lamenting that I had missed my review date for this book? So I raced through it only to discover today that it was meant to be an Instagram post that I missed. Seriously the easiest thing to do and I missed it. Which all goes to tell you something about my state of mind. And also something about why my review is what it is. 

The notes about Adele Holmes call this book Southern gothic. According to Wikipedia, Southern Gothic includes "storytelling of deeply flawed, disturbing or eccentric characters who may be involved in hoodoo, decayed or derelict settings, grotesque situations, and other sinister events relating to or stemming from poverty, alienation, crime, or violence." Let's see how this book fits that: 

    Deeply flawed character?                                     Check
    Eccentric character?                                             Check and check
    Characters who may be involved in hoodoo?      This one does talk about hoodoo, so check
    Decayed settings?                                                 A town that's dying, so, again, check
    Events stemming from poverty?                          Check
    Events stemming from violence?                         Check 
    Events stemming from alienation?                       Check
    Sinister events?                                                    Check and check

I'd say that publisher bit is spot on, according to the Wikipedia definition. But this is also the story of strong women, so often lacking in Southern Gothic fiction. 

Maddie comes from a long line of healers; but, after not being able to save her only son, Maddie doubts she has inherited the full gifts of her ancestors. Still, she believes, despite the ignorance of so many around her, that she is called to care for all of the people of her valley and to pass along her knowledge to her granddaughter, Hannah, and her friend, Ren. And she believes that those people have come to accept her, after more than 20 years in the valley. That is until Carl Howard, the new "reverend" finds that the best way to get people (ok, the men) to follow him is to play to their deepest fears, which turn out to be "uppity" women and black people. That puts Maddie and Ren in danger, although neither of them sees Carl for exactly what he is until their friendship is torn apart. 

This book was a slow build for me, taking nearly 100 pages to really begin to draw me into it. After that, it  was nonstop action with a blizzard, a hermit, a killing, blackmail, and a murder plot. This one might have worked a little better with less going on. But most of the time while I was reading it, I couldn't help but think how much my mom would have enjoyed this book, with her ability to focus on the good and overlook the shortcomings of historical fiction that features strong female characters. The Mom Stamp of Approval is always a good thing!


Sunday, September 4, 2022

Life: It Goes On - September 4

Happy Sunday! For those of you celebrating the arrival of September and proclaiming it now autumn, will you please keep it down? I still can't get over that we're already 4 days into September. 

We are still celebrating summer at this house - we even did a dinner with friends the other night with nothing but summer dishes - although I'm happy to say goodbye to the temps in the 90's (or higher!) so that evenings on the patio are more enjoyable. And I must admit that I'm starting to add few autumn accents to my decor and even put away my seashells for the year. 

Last Week I: 

 Listened To: I'm still listening to, and enjoying, Timothy Schaffert's The Perfume Thief, in preparation for this month's book club meeting. 

Watched: Football, volleyball, the usual. Except for Friday night when we watched Serena Williams play. We don't watch tennis generally, but it seemed like we should watch the G.O.A.T. play what might be (and turned out to be) her final match. 

Read: Guys, I missed a review that I was meant to do for TLC Book Tours the week before last! So I've been racing through that and will get a review up this week. 

 Caprese pasta using roasted tomatoes - which, of course, we ate on the patio! 

Thursday we had friends to dinner. Since it was nice enough to eat on the patio, we decided to go all in on a summer menu - we made BLTs, caprese salad, cucumber and onion salad, and capped the night off with S'mores. 

Enjoyed: See above. Jeff has seen this couple at tailgate parties before Husker games but I don't go down for those so I haven't seen them in quite a few years so it was great to catch up. 

This Week I’m:  

Planning: My sister and her husband are coming down this coming weekend so the plan this week will just be to get the things down around the house during the next few days that I might usually put off until the weekend. 

Thinking About: How my dad's furniture will fit in his new place, where art will hang, what new things will need to be bought. When I used to play with Barbies, I spent more time rearranging furniture and making new bedding and such than actually playing with the dolls. I feel like I was training then for these very situations!

Feeling: Frustrated. With myself. My back has gotten worse again but I'm to blame because I stopped doing my exercises as soon as I was released from physical therapy and had no one to hold me accountable. I'm back on track now and hoping to feel better again soon. 

Looking forward to: Seeing my sister and brother-in-law this coming weekend. 

Quote of the week: 

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

Rogues: True Stories of Grifters, Killers, Rebels, and Crooks by Patrick Raddon Keefe

Rogue: True Stories of Grifters, Killers, Rebels, and Crooks
by Patrick Raddon Keefe
15 Hours, 28 Minutes
Published June 2022 by Penguin Random House

Publisher's Summary:
Patrick Radden Keefe has garnered prizes ranging from the National Magazine Award to the Orwell Prize to the National Book Critics Circle Award for his meticulously-reported, hypnotically-engaging work on the many ways people behave badly. Rogues brings together a dozen of his most celebrated articles from The New Yorker. As Keefe says in his preface “They reflect on some of my abiding preoccupations: crime and corruption, secrets and lies, the permeable membrane separating licit and illicit worlds, the bonds of family, the power of denial.” 

Keefe brilliantly explores the intricacies of forging $150,000 vintage wines, examines whether a whistleblower who dared to expose money laundering at a Swiss bank is a hero or a fabulist, spends time in Vietnam with Anthony Bourdain, chronicles the quest to bring down a cheerful international black market arms merchant, and profiles a passionate death penalty attorney who represents the “worst of the worst,” among other bravura works of literary journalism. 

The appearance of his byline in The New Yorker is always an event, and collected here for the first time readers can see his work forms an always enthralling but deeply human portrait of criminals and rascals, as well as those who stand up against them.

My Thoughts: 
Rachel Maddow says, "Every time he writes a book - I read it." Same here, Rachel, same here. She also reads all of his articles, something I'd never done before. Until now. Rogues is a collection of some of his writings for The New Yorker and now I'm wondering where I can find the rest of his New Yorker back list. 

In this collection, Keefe covers every kind of rogue from murderers (drug kingpin El Chapo, Dutch criminal Wim Holleeder, and a rare female mass murderer, Amy Bishop) to celebrity chef and television personality Anthony Bourdain. The essays cover topics from counterfeit wine to the dirty secrets of Swiss banking to illegal arms trading. In these articles, he looks at two different lawyers who defend killers, both for very different reasons. 

Keefe's great skills are his ability to make the articles relatable and readable. He looks for ways to help us understand why people do the things they do. He never tries to make the bad guys look good but he tries to help us understand who they are. And while he has always clearly done his research, his work never feels like he's dumping every thing he's learned into the article, obliterating the story underneath. And the story is the point - Keefe is a storyteller, even if his stories are those of real people and, in this case, their misdeeds. 

Of course, like all collections, there were some stories that struck me more than others. The story of Astrid Holleeder, a lawyer who fears for her life because she fears a notorious killer she helped put in prison for life will find a way to have her killed. That criminal is her brother, a man who became famous when he was part of the kidnapping of Freddie Heineken (yes, those Heinekens). She and her sister had known for years that their brother was a criminal but finally they had enough of living in fear of what he might do to them so they wore wires and got him to incriminate himself. And still they live in fear of what he might do to them. 

Another story that will stick with me was that of Mark Burnett. Burnett, as you know, is the producer of Survivor. In 2002, he leased the skating rink in Central Park to host the season finale. The Trump skating rink. Burnett had already had the idea for another reality show and as soon as he saw Donald Trump sitting in the audience, he knew what to do. He immediately began feeding Trump's ego, cultivating a relationship that would allow Burnett to convince Trump to star in his new show, The Apprentice. Until then, Trump was considered something of a joke in the business community and the building they were set to film in was more than a little worn at the edges. The production company not only made their floor of the building look good, they turned Donald or The Donald into Mr. Trump. Burnett allowed Trump (partly because he knew it would make good television and partly because Trump wasn't able to learn his lines), to let his own personality come through. The show created an image of Trump as a straight-shooting master businessman. It seems almost impossible that Trump would have become president if not for Mark Burnett. And now I have to stop watching everything else Burnett produces. 

Another is the story a lawyer, Judy Clarke who defends notorious killers, the worst of the worst. Amongst Clarke's clients have been Ted Kaczynski and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev (the younger of the Boston Marathon bombers). Clarke is a staunch advocate against the death penalty and had never had a client sentenced to death until Tsarnaev. While the death penalty has resulted in the deaths of innocent people, Clarke isn't representing those people. The people she represents are guilty and she doesn't try to present them as otherwise. Still, she fights hard to save their lives. In no small part because, as in the case of Tsarnaev, the families of the victims want that as well. They want to be spared the emotional toll of endless appeals and all of the publicity that comes with it. I didn't come away from this article caring any more about those terrible people, but it certainly heightened my conviction that the death penalty is wrong. 

Finally, there was the piece on Anthony Bourdain. I'm not entirely sure that this piece fits in with the others, although Bourdain would certainly be considered a rogue and a rebel. While Bourdain became famous as something of a punk rock chef and all-around bad boy, in later years, Keefe revels, Bourdain was disciplined and hyperorganized, controlling every aspect of not only episodes of his show but his life as well. He was also a man that didn't have a lot of old friends but who made a lot of friends in his travels. If you're a fan of Bourdain, you'll enjoy this piece. If you're not a fan going in, you may rethink your opinion when you learn more about a man who overcame addiction but never overcame his demons. 

As I've done with Keefe's other books, I highly recommend this collection. I especially recommend it for those who can't face the idea of reading a 500-page book about criminal activity but could manage an essay. You, too, will become a Keefe fan. You may even find your self having the same opinion as Rachel Maddow. 

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Life: It Goes On - August 28

Happy Sunday! This is my last Sunday to put up this picture of the lake and I can't tell you how sad that makes me. I know a lot of you are already decorating for fall - even looking forward to Halloween - but this girl has not spent nearly enough evenings on the patio. Although I did spend all of last evening sitting around a fire pit with friends and family on my dad's driveway - more on that later. 

Last Week I: 

 Listened To: This year's Omaha Reads book is Timothy Schaffert's The Perfume Thief which my book club is reading for September. I've already read it and I normally wouldn't reread a book prior to book club. But since I needed a new audiobook and this one was available, I decided to give it a listen. I'm enjoying it a lot. 

I also listened to several episodes of Glennon Doyle's podcast, We Can Do Hard Things - 2 episodes with Cheryl Strayed, 1 with Chelsea Handler, and 1 titled Why Are There No Pictures of Us? I expected that last one to be about us not allowing ourselves to be photographed because we don't like the way we look but it's actually about those around us not taking pictures of us because they don't really see us. 

Watched: Not a lot this week. Some baseball, some football. I wish I hadn't watched my Huskers yesterday; what a disappointment. 

Read: Finally almost finished with Ruth Ware's latest, The It Girl. Compelled to finally get it finished because my sister-in-law is also reading it and I want to be able to discuss it with her. 

Made: This is really starting to get embarrassing. I did make caprese salad the other night...without the cheese because I'd let the cheese I bought go too long. It was still delicious and I may just do it again tonight. 

Photo courtesy of a family friend
 My sister stayed with my dad this past week, helping him get ready for his move, so I took off Friday so she and I could work together. We got a lot of things sorted and did a lot of laughing. Then Saturday I headed back in so I could spend time with her, my brother, and my sister-in-law (not the same one) as we prepared for a thank-you party for the people who have helped my dad this past year and a half. We had a nice group of friends and family stop by to visit and to cook S'mores, enjoy an alcoholic slushee, and to talk and talk. My siblings and I sat out there until midnight (with one of my brother's friends who is like family) before we finally decided it was time to clean up. 

This Week I’m:  

Planning: My sister-in-law brought up a lot of peppers and cherry tomatoes so there will be a lot of roasting and freezing going on this week. 

Thinking About: Miss H has been away from home this weekend and was headed home when she discovered a bubble on her tire. So I spent the next couple of hours worrying that her tire was going to blow while she was driving 75 mph on the interstate. I don't think I properly understood how much worrying parenthood was going to entail when I decided to have kids! 

Feeling: I'm keeping my brain focused on what needs to be done to get my dad moved and how the things in his house will be distributed. If I keep focused on it being tasks to be accomplished, I'm able to keep from getting overly emotional about it. But today when I looked at a floral garland my mom had wound around a curtain rod, I cried, thinking of how we are undoing all of the little touches she has added over decades. This is going to be a tough couple of months.

Looking forward to: I haven't even turned the page yet to see what the coming week entails so I don't even know what there is to look forward to this week!

Quote of the week: Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” —Dr. Seuss

Monday, August 22, 2022

Life: It Goes On - August 22

Happy Monday! It is not a beautiful, sunny Sunday as I write; it is, in fact, almost bedtime on Monday. I wish I could tell you that's because I've been so busy I haven't had a minute to sit down and write. But I have; I just haven't had the ambition to walk to the living room and write the post. And that's ok. My body is healing, my brain is racing and I just need to allow myself the grace to just sit when I need to do that. 

I see a lot of you are already thinking of fall. Meanwhile, I'm over here hanging on to summer with everything I've got in me. Two more weeks of this picture on my Sunday posts. Two more weeks before the unofficial end of summer. I love my slow evenings on the patio after our dinners out there. I love the flowers in full bloom all over my yard. I love being outside in short sleeves and barefooted (of course, my friends know that I'll be barefooted outside until it just becomes far too cold). So you can start mixing in some fall touches at your house. As for me, my shells are staying out a while longer. 

Last Week I: 

 Listened To: I finished Rogues by Patrick Radden Keefe Saturday. Such a big fan of his writing. 

Watched: Yep, still football and not much else. 

Read: Where Wild Peaches Grow for the review today and also mixing in It Girl. But I'm in a real reading slump, guys. I just have very little interest in it. 

Made: Absolutely nothing of note. 

 My girl was in town this weekend to go to the wedding reception of her friend, who also happens to be our stylist (and, let's be honest, my friend now, too). The food was amazing, the bride was still glowing, and the bride's mom was so happy to see Hannah again after so many years. 

This Week I’m:  

Planning: My sister is in Lincoln, staying the week with my dad, so I'll be spending a lot of time with her (and him!), prepping for his move and a thank you party all those who have helped him this past year and a half. 

Thinking About: Right now it's all about what needs to be done to help my dad be ready for his big move. Trying to focus on how nice the new place will be and how nice it will be for him to not be alone this winter. 

Feeling: So. Much. Better! I'm done with physical therapy and I'm cutting back on pain meds. I'm by no means past this back issue, but I can function with the pain that remains and know that I'm on the road to being pain free. 

Looking forward to: Book club tomorrow night. 

Question of the week: If you could pick one thing to have in your room that was in your childhood home, what would it be? 

Where Wild Peaches Grow by Cade Bentley

Where Wild Peaches Grow
by Cade Bentley
300 pages
Published August 2022 by Lake Union Publishing
Source: my copy courtesy of the publisher, through TLC Book Tours, in exchange for an honest review

Publisher's Summary:
Nona “Peaches” Davenport, abandoned by the man she loved and betrayed by family, left her Natchez, Mississippi, home fifteen years ago and never looked back. She’s forged a promising future in Chicago as a professor of African American Studies. Nona even finds her once-closed heart persuaded by a new love. But that’s all shaken when her father’s death forces her to return to everything she’s tried to forget.

Julia Curtis hasn’t forgiven her sister for deserting the family. Just like their mother, Nona walked away from Julia when she needed her most. And Julia doesn’t feel guilty for turning to Nona’s old flame, Marcus, for comfort. He helped Julia build a new life. She has a child, a career, and a determination to move on from old family wounds.

Upon Nona’s return to Natchez, a cautious reunion unfolds, and everything Nona and Julia thought they knew–about themselves, each other, and those they loved–will be tested. Unpacking the truth about why Nona left may finally heal their frayed bond–or tear it apart again, forever.

My Thoughts:
In 1865, tens of thousands of newly self-emancipated enslaved persons fled, trying to get behind Union lines, presumably to be safe from re-enslavement. The Union was not prepared for the numbers of people they were suddenly charged with the care of and, more than likely, very little interest in caring for them. Exactly what happened to those people depends on who is telling the story; revisionist Confederate history would have us believe that the Union army intentionally allowed women and children to starver or die of smallpox, leaving 20,000 of 100,000 dead in a place called Devil's Punchbowl in Natchez, Mississippi. In the years following this, wild peach trees grew in the area but many will not eat the peaches, given how the ground was fertilized. 

Ms. Bentley sets her book in Natchez, with Julia's and Nona's Mamaw living across the street from the Devil's Punchbowl. She takes two pieces from the history of that location: the peaches play a big role in the story (they indirectly cause the death of the Davenport sisters' father) and the idea of revisionist storytelling. In our introduction to Nona, she is teaching her students that "Storytelling is how history was created. But our stories have often been supplanted with deliberate misinformation. Revisionism. Done to tell a different story." She is speaking of how the American South spent decades revising history. 

Nona's (and Julia's) own history is also filled with stories that have been revised to tell a different story, through lies, misinformation and secrets kept. The sisters spend decades living their lives apart because of a misunderstanding and these lies (the lies the sisters have been told, the lies the sisters have told otheers, and the lies they have told themselves) and secrets. But when Nona returns home for their father's funeral, the lies come to light and the secrets are revealed. 

Julia is the sister who was left behind. She is the sister who was left to care for a father that, I must say, was not the kind of man a daughter might feel compelled to spend any time caring for - but then Julia wasn't fully aware of what had transpired when she was younger. Readers are, through peeks into the past, and I couldn't help but feel that the girls were better off without him. 

Bentley tells the girls stories in both the past and present, and from multiple points of view, which allows readers to "hear" the sisters perspective and to know the way their lives were perceived by others. It made for a slow start as readers are slowly introduced to the characters, while also stepping back in time. That's offset by an ending that I only saw coming because there were so few pages in the book left; it felt a bit abrupt but both wrapped things up while leaving some character's stories open-ended. 

I found Bentley's descriptions, particularly those of Natchez and the area, very lovely. There were some unanswered questions, which I wasn't sure was intentional or not. If you're a fan of messy, complicated stories, you'll likely enjoy this book. It's a book that's somewhat out of my usual lane but I enjoyed it, being one of those fans of messy family stories. 

Thanks to the ladies of TLC Book Tours for including me on this tour. 

About Cade Bentley 

Cade Bentley is a novelist and editor who is also published as Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling author Abby L. Vandiver, as well as Abby Colette. When she isn’t writing, Cade enjoys spending time with her grandchildren. She resides in South Euclid, Ohio. For more information visit

Sunday, August 14, 2022

Life: It Goes On - August 14

Happy Sunday! It's hot, it's sunny; but we're hoping for a lot of rain in the next few days, which, like so many of you, we desperately need. On the plus side, it has been less humid so that nights on the patio (or, as the case was last night, on my dad's front porch) are very tolerable. This week should be cooler so once the rain stops, I'm looking forward to reading on the patio again. 

Last Week I: 

 Listened To: I continue to listen to Patrick Keefe's Rogues, which I'm really enjoying. It's, as I said last week, a collection of his previously published essays and is filled with so many interesting stories of real life criminals. 

Watched: Football!!!

Read: I finished Grief Is Love and continue with Ruth Ware's It Girl. 

Made: The usual summer fare but also pasta carbonara, a repeat from a couple of weeks ago. 

 Time in Lincoln with my Dad yesterday and dinner at a place none of us had been in 40 years. It's like a time warp - looks exactly the same as it has for decades, even has the same level of decrepitude as ever. Followed that up with a drive through long time favorite Pioneer's Park and hot fudge malts at a nearby ice cream food truck. 

This Week I’m:  

Planning: After having overdone it last weekend, my back made me pay the price this last week (although it was no where near as bad as it once was) so little got done. This week will be all about playing catch up. 

Thinking About: It's all about what my dad will take with him when he moves and where he will put those things. 

Feeling: I'm starting to get in my feels about my dad leaving the house I grew up in and it's not uncommon for me to have to stop talking about his moving to pull myself back together. But I'm also eager to have him where life is easier for him and where he is nearby. 

Looking forward to: One of my mom's cousins from Denmark is arriving in Lincoln today, where he will be staying with my dad for a few days; so we are looking forward to see him while he is there as we haven't seen him in several years. 

Question of the week: Any other bloggers having trouble with Bloglovin'? It's not working for me at all and I'm missing all of your blog posts! 

Friday, August 12, 2022

Grief Is Love by Marisa Renee Lee

Grief Is Love
by Marisa Renee Lee
Published April 2022 by Grand Central Publishing
192 pages

Publisher's Summary:
 In Grief is Love, author Marisa Renee Lee reveals that healing does not mean moving on after losing a loved one—healing means learning to acknowledge and create space for your grief. It is about learning to love the one you lost with the same depth, passion, joy, and commitment you did when they were alive, perhaps even more. She guides you through the pain of grief—whether you’ve lost the person recently or long ago—and shows you what it looks like to honor your loss on your unique terms, and debunks the idea of a grief stages or timelines. Grief is Love is about making space for the transformation that a significant loss requires. 

In beautiful, compassionate prose, Lee elegantly offers wisdom about what it means to authentically and defiantly claim space for grief’s complicated feelings and emotions. And Lee is no stranger to grief herself, she shares her journey after losing her mother, a pregnancy, and, most recently, a cousin to the COVID-19 pandemic. These losses transformed her life and led her to question what grief really is and what healing actually looks like. In this book, she also explores the unique impact of grief on Black people and reveals the key factors that proper healing requires: permission, care, feeling, grace and more. 

The transformation we each undergo after loss is the indelible imprint of the people we love on our lives, which is the true definition of legacy. At its core, Grief is Love explores what comes after death, and shows us that if we are able to own and honor what we’ve lost, we can experience a beautiful and joyful life in the midst of grief.

My Thoughts: 
I caught just a bit of Glennon Doyle speaking with Marisa Renee Lee about her grief experience and this book and knew immediately that I needed to buy a copy for my sister...and then decided that I needed to read it as well, so I checked it out from the library so that not only could we both read it, but we could read it together. (Whew - that was quite the run on sentence!)

Is it good, you might be asking. Well, let's just start by saying that I haven't put this many sticky notes into a book in a very long time, especially a book this short. 
"Our culture glorifies the idea of just sucking is up, moving on, and being tough. This is part of what makes living with loss keeping challenging."
Which is part of the reason employers give so little bereavement leave. I got three days when my mom died. Three days. Three days were gone before we even got to the day of the funeral. After five days I returned to work. I'd been so busy taking care of my dad and getting things ready for the funeral that I had hardly started to grieve. Afterward, I rarely gave myself permission to grieve. That is one of Lee's primary messages - we must give ourselves permission to grieve, in whatever way that is for us, for the rest of our lives. Because if grief is love, as Lee, obviously says it is, and we loved our person, then we will never entirely stop grieving them. 

Lee talks about the toll grief takes on relationships, gives readers permission to feel joy and laugh and anger even as we experience grief, asks us to give ourselves grace (yeah, that spoke to me, given that "grace" is my word of the year), and tells readers that the death of a loved one should change you, should make you want to live in a way that will be a legacy to your loved one. 
"Joy is a basic right. Don't feel cast aside from your grief; you need to entitle yourself to the joy you deserve. If you are going to live a full life after loss, you have to find your way back to joy." 

"I failed to understand that the death of a loved one, of someone you hold dear, should change you. That is their mark on the world. You are their mark on this world." 

My sister and I have spent a lot of time texting back and forth about different pages in this book; she'll be coming this way soon and I expect that we'll spend a lot to time together talking about it even more. I am certain I will be buying myself a copy of this book to put on my shelf, next to Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking, Atul Gawande's Being Mortal and Steve Leder's The Beauty of What Remains. I would recommend it to anyone dealing with grief, especially those who are preparing for grief as a loved one is dying or black women (Lee, as a black woman, speaks eloquently about the ways being a black woman makes grief even more difficult to navigate).