Conversations and Cosmopolitans by Robert Rave and Jane Rave and a Giveaway

Conversations and Cosmopolitans: Awkward Moments, Mixed Drinks, and How a Mother and Son Finally Shared Who They Really Are 
by Robert Rave and Jane Rave
304 pages
Published November 2011 by St. Martin's Press
Source: the publisher and TLC Book Tours

At twenty one, Robert Rave had recently had some big changes in his life - he'd recently graduated from college and had just moved to New York City from a small town in Indiana. But Robert had, evidently, decided that wasn't enough change for him. So he sat down and wrote a letter to his sensible, Midwestern parents, a long letter telling them that their youngest son was gay. Nervous about their reaction, Robert tried to answer all of the questions they might have in that letter. When it arrived at their house, Jane Rave was, understandably a little upset and called her husband to come to discuss it with him. His reaction? "At then end of the day, does it really matter? He's our son. He was before the letter. Why should it change now?"

Which was, in the end, pretty much the way Jane handled it as well. She had no problem with the idea that her son was gay, she didn't care what other people thought of him. Her main worry was that Robert would end up alone. Otherwise, she made it her mission to try to educate people about what being gay means, that it's just a part of her son's life, it does not define him. Every gay or lesbian person should be so lucky to have parents like Robert's.

The book is a series of stories of how a small-town Midwestern boy learned to live as a "out" gay man in the big city. Robert tells his stories, then Jane gives her thoughts and perspective on what Robert has written. There are chapters about Robert teaching Jane the lingo of the gay culture, Internet dating, therapists, and finding love. These are things the two discussed in their at least weekly telephone conversations as they became closer than ever.

Robert's stories have a very conversational appeal, although I did occasionally feel that they went on a bit longer and into more detail than they needed to. Jane's responses felt more thought out, the kind of advice you get from your mom when she's had time to carefully consider how she's going to discuss something with you. Even given that I sometimes had a hard time believing that these were Jane's initial thoughts when certain situations presented themselves, this lady is full of good advice. Her son is clearly aware that his mom is one smart, sensible woman who helped him become the person he is by opening up and showing him the person she really is.

"The best way to meet people is to simply be authentic," she said. I didn't realize the truth of this advice until years later, while sipping cosmos in the basement of an ultra-trendy Manhattan restaurant. She wasn't impressed by the restaurant, the food, the waitstaff, or the semi-celebrities. She was just here being herself and enjoying a night out with her son."

Robert and Jane clearly have the kind of relationship most parents and children would like to have. I appreciate them sharing their story with a sense of candor and fun. For other opinions on the book, check out the full TLC Book Tour. Follow Robert on Facebook to learn more about his other books. Thanks to TLC Book Tours for including me in this tour!

Thanks to the publisher, I have one copy of Conversations and Cosmopolitans to giveaway. To enter, you must be a U.S. resident; I'll draw the winner Sunday, December 4th. Please leave me the best advice your mom ever gave you and a way to get a hold of you. My favorite piece of advice will win!

Cat Thursday

How to make some fun from all of those awful medical procedures! Cat Thursday is hosted by Michelle of The True Book Addict.

Mount TBR Reading Challenge

Having failed at completing challenges year after year (including an epic failure of my own Gilmore Girls Reading Challenge this year), you would think I'd have learned not to sign up for reading challenges at all. But I always have such high hopes for my future reading!

Bev of My Reader's Block is hosting Mount TBR Reading Challenge in 2012, a challenge that seems to be right up my alley since one of the things I've been trying to do lately is read more of my own books. There are six levels, starting at 12 books and working all of the way up to 100+ books. I understand that the idea of these things is to challenge yourself but I'm getting tired of failing! So, even though I'm confident that I can reach the Mt. Ararat level (40 books), I'm going to sign up for the Mt. Vancouver level (25 books). That still leaves me plenty of room for review books, other challenges and book club selections. I've had enough stress in my life this year...2012 is all about finding balance and removing as much stress from my life as possible!

Sunday Salon - November 27

For those of you who got to enjoy a long weekend, I hope you've enjoyed it. For those of you who had to work so that my family and I could shop for bargains (and, let's be honest, for the great fun we have when we all go off together to fight the crowds), thank you!

In Nebraska you never know what kind of weather to expect for Thanksgiving. There can be snow on the ground a bitter cold. That makes knowing how to dress for Black Friday a bit bothersome; you need a coat, hat and gloves outside but you certainly don't want them in the stores. Plus it puts a major damper on two of my family's annual Thanksgiving traditions. The field goal kicking competition never lasts as long and fewer of us are willing to go along just to be spectators. Also, the turkey trot (a treasure hunt for the grandchildren) must be done entirely inside.

But sometimes we get lucky and have one of those glorious fall days where there are enough spectators at the field goal competition to actually do the wave! One of my favorite Thanksgiving memories is of just such a day when my husband and I hosted Thanksgiving. All four of my grandparents were still with us and my grandfathers sat out on my deck playing cards. As much as I love my family in its current form, I never get through Thanksgiving without missing my grandparents!

We got lucky again this year and had a marvelous day which meant that it was nice enough day to also work in a lesson on Australian rules football. We were blessed to have with us this year a dear friend from Australia and her family who gamely participated in all of our American and family customs, including the turkey trot and field goal kicking. Wisely, they did pass on Black Friday shopping!


My uncle sent me this link to an article in the Chicago Tribune about why some of us have such a hard time giving up our physical books. I'm not necessarily one for the moldy smell (my allergies aren't wild about it for one thing) but I do feel my book in my hands. Although, I must admit that I'm thinking I may need a Nook Tablet so that I never have to worry about finding myself without a book as I was for two hours the other day when the locks on my work building malfunctioned and I had to sit in my car and advise employees as they arrived to go home until it was fixed. Such a waste of precious reading time!

Happy Thanksgiving *

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my readers and to the soldiers who, like those pictured above, are serving in the armed forces away from their families.

 

*In keeping with my current reading about the U.S. Civil War, I'm bringing you some Thanksgiving images from that war.