Life: It Goes On - December 13

Happy Sunday! It's beginning to look a lot like winter here. Friday evening we started getting heavy wet snow and it's been cold enough that it remains yet today. The roads are clear so we are only left with the snow that is pretty to look at and that gives us a break from all of the brown, so I'm enjoying looking out at it. 

Friday evening I went into not one but two stores. It's the first time I've done that since March. Heck, I've only been inside a store about five times since then at all. We were doing some Christmas shopping and, even with masks and signs on the floor reminding people to social distance, it felt normal and normal feels so good!

Last Week I: 

Listened To: I finished I Was Anastasia yesterday and today I will start Maggie O'Farrell's Hamnet. 

Watched: The usual. I couldn't even convince The Big Guy to turn on Netflix. 

Read: I finished a print book this morning! I'm hoping, so hoping, that as I'm checking things off the Christmas to-do list, my reading will pick up again as my mind becomes better able to focus. We'll set. 

Made: Last night BG and I cobbled together a few recipes to make an absolutely delicious cheeseburger pizza. But that wasn't the most interesting thing I made yesterday. With a vegan family member and a vegan coming for Christmas, I decided to try my hand at vegan caramel corn. It took some tweaking but it's not at all bad. 

Enjoyed: A movie...in. a. theater! It's the first time I've been in a movie theater since last December and it was so much fun to do something fun that was, again, normal. My department rented a theater for our Christmas party and we had the theater to ourselves so I felt perfect safe to even have my mask off some of the time. My how I have missed movie theater popcorn! 

This Week I’m:  

Planning: Christmas gifts get mailed, Christmas cards get picked up and then mailed, I'll finish working on a gift I'm putting together, and I'll decorate the guest rooms. Yep, it's all about Christmas still. 

Thinking About: Making a plan for things to do in January and February to keep those months from being so long and lonely. They are hard enough for me in a regular year, but not being able to get together with friends is going to make it worse. 

Feeling: Sad about the lack of Christmas cards we've gotten this year. Has everyone decided that, since no one has done anything, it's not worth sending them? 

Looking forward to: Book club this week. We're doing an unusual Zoom Christmas party. One of our ladies is coordinating a snack share and we're hoping to get a shared cocktail lined up as well. 

Question of the week: How are your Christmas plans coming along?

Sh*t, Actually by Lindy West

Sh*t, Actually by Lindy West

Published October 2020 by Hatchette Books

Source: my copy courtesy of the publisher, through Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review

Publisher's Summary:

New York Times opinion writer and bestselling author Lindy West was once the in-house movie critic for Seattle's alternative newsweekly The Stranger, where she covered film with brutal honesty and giddy irreverence. In Sh*t, Actually, Lindy returns to those roots, re-examining beloved and iconic movies from the past 40 years with an eye toward the big questions of our time: Is Twilight the horniest movie in history? Why do the zebras in The Lion King trust Mufasa-WHO IS A LION-to look out for their best interests? Why did anyone bother making any more movies after The Fugitive achieved perfection? And, my god, why don't any of the women in Love, Actually ever f#^king talk?!?! 

From Forrest Gump, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and Bad Boys II, to Face/Off, Top Gun, and The Notebook, Lindy combines her razor-sharp wit and trademark humor with a genuine adoration for nostalgic trash to shed new critical light on some of our defining cultural touchstones-the stories we've long been telling ourselves about who we are. At once outrageously funny and piercingly incisive, Sh*t, Actually reminds us to pause and ask, "How does this movie hold up?", all while teaching us how to laugh at the things we love without ever letting them or ourselves off the hook. 

Sh*t, Actually is a love letter and a break-up note all in one: to the films that shaped us and the ones that ruined us. More often than not, Lindy finds, they're one and the same.

My Thoughts:

I am a huge fan of Lindy West. I love her radical feminism, her sense of humor (even though sometimes it makes me cringe - here that means a lot of references to pooping and penises), and her political voice. She and I are clearly riding the same political wave; and, even in a book about movies, she manages to get in plenty of punches against the current administration. Clearly, then, this is not a book for fans of our 45th president. Our people who don't like cursing in a book because, as you can tell by the title of the book, West doesn't pull any punches there, either. 

"I love making fun of movies. I love turning a piece of criticism into a piece of entertainment. I love pointing out a plot hole that makes a superfine write me an angry e-mail. I love turning my unsophistication into a tool. I love being hyperbolically, cathartically angry for no reason. I love being flippant and careless and earnest and meticulous all at once.

...I'd rewatch a successful movies from the past to see how they hold up to our shifting modern sensibilities. That concept has grown even more relevant in recent years, as grappling with those shifts has become something of a national obsession...Are we "allowed" to like imperfect things that mean something to us?"

"...I selected movies that fit at least one of three categories: 1) cultural phenomena that took over the earth, 2) movies I was personally obsessed with, or 3) movies I picked because it seemed like someone should talk about them."

"...what I began working on as a silly book released into a darkness I understood - the demoralizing grind of public life under Donald Trump - is now to be a silly book released into a darkness I don't. I finished writing Sh*t, Actually six weeks into the COVID-19 quarantine - six weeks of trying to think of funny things to say about Face/Off while worrying about a friend on a ventilator, six weeks of mustering comical outrage over Harry Potter plot holes while the president went on television to suggest that the ill try drinking bleach."

See, even in the introduction, West works in politics. But that's hard to avoid when you're writing during a year like the one we're in. Kudos to West for being able to muster up the ability to find the funny in life right now. I need it. We need it. 

You may have noticed that West suggests that The Fugitive reached perfection in movie making. She loves it so much that she ranks all other movies against it. It ranks a 13 out of a possible 10. But that doesn't save it from West's skewering. And if she'll do that to one of her faves, you can imagine what she did to American Pie, which earned 0/10 Fugitives. 

West points out misogyny in these movies (lots and lots and lots of it), the lack of strong female characters (or any at all in some movies), and the lack of persons of color in the movies she's chosen. You might suggest that she handpicked the movies she reviews to make these points. But if you watches movies in the late 1990's, you'll quickly recall that she's pretty spot on. One of my favorite reviews was that of Face/Off, which is a movie I had, until recently, only seen once and hated it. But when my son was last here, he made us watch it because it finds it to be hilarious. As it turned out he was right and as I was reading West's review I was 100% in agreement with her because I could exactly picture the scenes she was talking about. My least fave review? The one the book's title is taken from, Love, Actually. Not because West is wrong about the movie but because she's right. I love that movie, even with the flaws I was already willing to acknowledge, and West may just have ruined it for me. And it's Christmas time, time for my annual viewing. Will I even be able to watch it? Oh, who are we kidding? Yes, I'll absolutely watch it. And I'll still love it (I mean, that scene of Hugh Grant, Prime Minister of Great Britain, dancing down the stairs of 10 Downing Street alone is worth watching the movie for); but I'll watch it with a new point of view. 

Dark Tides by Philippa Gregory

Dark Tides (The Fairmile Series Book 2) by Philippa Gregory

Published November 2020 by Atria Books

Source: my copy courtesy of the publisher, through Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review

Publisher's Summary:

Midsummer Eve 1670. Two unexpected visitors arrive at a shabby warehouse on the south side of the River Thames. The first is a wealthy man hoping to find the lover he deserted twenty-one years before. James Avery has everything to offer, including the favour of the newly restored King Charles II, and he believes that the warehouse's poor owner Alinor has the one thing his money cannot buy—his son and heir.

The second visitor is a beautiful widow from Venice in deepest mourning. She claims Alinor as her mother-in-law and has come to tell Alinor that her son Rob has drowned in the dark tides of the Venice lagoon.

Alinor writes to her brother Ned, newly arrived in faraway New England and trying to make a life between the worlds of the English newcomers and the American Indians as they move toward inevitable war. Alinor tells him that she knows—without doubt—that her son is alive and the widow is an imposter.

Set in the poverty and glamour of Restoration London, in the golden streets of Venice, and on the tensely contested frontier of early America, this is a novel of greed and desire: for love, for wealth, for a child, and for home.

My Thoughts:

I haven't read any of Phillipa Gregory's books since The Other Boleyn Girl. When I got an email about this book, I thought it was time to give her stories another chance. Did the pitch mention this was part of a series? I don't remember. 

I was 100 pages into this book before I realized it was the second book in a series. To be sure, there's plenty of backstory hinted at throughout but Gregory does such a good job of making it seem to be part of the way she wanted to tell her story that it never appeared to be an attempt to catch readers up on a first book. Except...

There are two story lines here, that of Alinor's family in London and that of Ned in the New World. As they summary says, they're brother and sister who write to each other and Ned occasionally sends boxes of herbs. And that is as close as the two stories ever come to intersecting; it was obvious about half way through the book that that would be the case. Alinor's family's story was much more interesting to me and I raced through those chapters, although Ned's might have been a fine story if I were reading it in it's own book. Gregory makes both locations come alive and there are some really terrific characters in both story lines but Alinor's story is the story that has the action and the suspense.

And in the end? Dark Tides is literally the The Empire Strikes Back of this book series. We only ever get the barest glimpse of the entire backstory and the stories more or less just drop off at the end of this book. There may, in fact, actually be more loose ends by the last page as there were at the beginning. 

If you're a fan of Gregory's, I think you'll enjoy this one. And if you've already read Tidelands, I think you won't be disappointed in this next installment of Alinor's story. If you haven't read that one, read it first. 

Life: It Goes On - December 6

Happy Sunday! It was supposed to be warm (well, warm as in almost 50 degrees which is warm for here in December) and sunny today. It isn't. Which makes me kind of cranky and much less motivated to get things done. It would be a good day to curl up with a book and just take a mental health day but it's December and you know that means that there's much too much to be done for a day like that. 

I am finally almost finished decorating for Christmas. I'd like to tell you that is because I've really knocked it out this year but that's not true. Part of the problem is that I've changed some things up this year but also because it just seemed pointless. The other day Miss H asked if one of her friends could come for Christmas. I was hesitant at first, but this friend is already being very careful about the virus and agreed to my stipulations. Agreeing to have her with us gave me the boost I needed to finish things up.

Last Week I: 

Packages are arriving and my cat 
couldn't be happier about it!

Listened To: I finished Yaa Gyasi's Transcendent Kingdom and started Ariel Lawhon's I Was Anastasia, which I'm listening to for book club. The reader is wonderful - I'm going to have a hard time deciphering if the book is actually good or if I just liked it because of how well read it is.

Watched: The Voice, football (hurrah, my Huskers finally won another game!), lots of HGTV, and Rudolph (because Christmas). 

Read: I finished The Last Story of Mina Lee and started Stories From Suffragette City. I'm still struggling with sitting down and reading so I'm not too far into it. 

Made: I finally tried my Instant Pot for something new - navy beans and ham. I had to cook it longer than the recipe called for but it still was done in a fraction of the time I'm used to navy beans and ham taking and it tastes delicious. 

Enjoyed: I went into the office this week for the first time in three weeks; and, even though I hated having to get up and hustle, it was so nice to see other people.

This Week I’m:  

Planning: We're babysitting Mini-him's cat for a couple of weeks while he's traveling for work which means that I'm spending a lot of time in the basement to keep him company. So my plans for the week include getting a lot of sorting done down there. This week I've filled a big garbage bag already - the good thing about saving things for scrapbooks you don't even actually get around to putting together is that not even half of what you've saved seems important twenty years later. 

Thinking About: My sister - today is her birthday. She's had a tough couple of months what with moving and then getting CoVid just as they arrived at their new house. I'm glad she's finally feeling better (although still battling lingering effects two weeks later) and happy that she's close enough for her daughter to be with her today. Wish I were!

Feeling: Stressed. Mini-him has, once again, been exposed to someone with CoVid. He is, mostly, pretty careful but at this point it feels like him getting it is more a matter of when, not if. 

Looking forward to: My work team is renting a movie theater for our Christmas celebration this week. It will be the first time I've been in a theater in almost a year and I don't know if I'm more looking forward to seeing a movie in a theater or movie theater popcorn. 

Question of the week: Do you usually do Christmas cards? If so, are you planning to do them this year?

...but that's not me.: Fitting the pieces together. The pieces of all of us by Erika Shalene Hull and Dr. Cheryl LeJewell Jackson

 ...but that's not me.: Fitting the piece together. The pieces of all of us by Erika Shalene Hull and Dr. Cheryl LeJewll Jackson

Published December 4 2020 by The CornHer Office

Publisher's Summary: 

Detailing the journeys of multiple women as they entered, endured, and escaped a wide range of domestic abuse, ...but that's not me. is a bold and powerful homage to strength, courage, and resilience. Stories are intertwined with hard-hitting truths about what domestic abuse is, how we find ourselves in abusive situations, the perpetuation of abuse, and the path to recovery. 

The problem is not the amount or availability of information but the ability to recognize what is happening in the moments of the abuse. By telling the stories of average, hard-working women in middle-America, Hull and Jackson invite you into an awareness traditionally silenced, bringing attention to painful realities of abuse that will linger, etched on your heart, long after the book is closed. Hull and Jackson write: “We aren’t out to hurt anyone, and it would be a lot safer and more comfortable to not tell these stories at all. But when we look at the faces of our children, our friends, and those suffering in silence, we can’t quietly sit back any longer. By having these uncomfortable conversations, we hope to encourage you to believe in yourself, learn to set better boundaries, and know that you are worthy and deserving of so much more.”

*************************************************************************************

Happy publication day! It's not often that I post about a book that I haven't read but when my friend Natalie (Coffee and A Book Chick) started talking about this book on Instagram, I could see that it was an important book that I wanted to put in the hands of some women I love. When she asked me if I'd help get the word out about it, of course I agreed. 

Natalie says of this book, in her review, "And while the vehicle to drive the subject of this book might be domestic abuse, with very raw and personal stories shared, analyzed and reviewed to discuss new language and words to describe abuse, the totality of the message is inclusive to all of us. "...but that's not me." is so much more than a book about domestic abuse."  She also says:

"And is domestic abuse solely regarding intimate relationships? No. It can be an abusive family situation, it can be an abusive sexual harassment case at work. It can be toxic friendships. Suffering, abuse, victim status don't always come to play and many don't identify with it because it doesn't fit with what we've been indoctrinated to believe is a pure example of abuse. TV and books in the past have painted this image of what it most likely looks like, so when the victim doesn't get a black eye, the words "...but that's not me." echo throughout their thoughts."

More than 38 million women will have experienced domestic abuse in their lifetime. You know someone who's been in an abusive relationship, even if you don't know about it. I do. We've experienced in my family. Helping someone get out of that kind of relationship is incredibly difficult; you have to convince them first that they are being in an abusive relationship. Even when they acknowledge it, they are so often convinced to go back to the abuser. It's important for us to be able to put this book into their hands, to see themselves and find the way out. 

At The CornHer Office website, Hull and Dr. Jackson talk about why they wrote this book: 

"Meeting at a conference in October of 2019, we began a journey that ended in a very different place than either of us ever expected. When Erika approached me at my author table, I was instantly intrigued by her courage and passion. I was drawn to her story, knowing it was one that must be told. As we began to peel back the layers, I felt my own past on display. As our stories collided, we knew we were onto something much bigger than ourselves. We were telling not just her story or mine, but ours….all of ours."

Dr. Jackson and Ms. Hull

If you'd like a copy of this book, it can be found at Better Over Perfect, Amazon, or Barnes and Noble.