I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Read by Jennette McCurdy

6 hours, 26 minutes

Published August 2022 by Simon & Schuster

Publisher's Summary: Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother's dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn't tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

In I'm Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail-just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I'm Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

My Thoughts: 

• I was aware of this book when it first came out, just a year and a half after my own mom died. I couldn't have picked it up then; I couldn't have imagined being glad your mom died, even though I was certainly aware that there are a lot of terrible moms out there. 
• I listened to this one. You all know that I'll often push the speed up to 125% when I'm trying to finish a book before my loan expires OR if I feel like the reading is just too slow. Sometimes it sounds much more normal, sometimes it sounds like someone is racing through the book but I generally grow used to it. In this book, McCurdy is reading at a pace that kept me checking to see whether or not I'd upped the speed to 125%. It's fast, her voice is high pitched. I actually considered slowing the speed. 
• I got to the last five minutes of the book and was confused about when McCurdy reached the point when she felt like she was glad her mom had died. I mean, it's clear that she does and that the point of the book is to show the reasons why the book has its title. But when we got to that point, I think it was even more impactful because she waited to long to get there. 
• Wow. McCurdy's mom was a real piece of work. I mean, I've heard of moms causing eating disorders in their children and forcing them into careers because that's what the mom wants. But I have never heard of a mom insisting on showering her children well into their teens. Or moving in with them after they move out.
• I didn't know who McCurdy was before this book. My daughter must have missed the iCarly years and certainly missed the Sam and Cat years. But of course I was familiar with Nickelodeon. What an eyeopener this book is into the workings of that channel. She doesn't name names, to her credit; but does reveal that the creator of her shows was eventually made to sit in a different room when the shows were being filmed. 
• It's a tough read (or listen, as the case may be) even though McCurdy uses humor throughout. "Seeing" someone being abused, developing an eating disorder, falling into toxic relationships, and becoming an addict is hard. Especially having raised a daughter who suffered from an eating disorder, was an addict, and has been involved in a number of toxic relationships. But much as my daughter survived and now thrives, McCurdy is an inspiration and an example of how therapy can save lives. 
• In the end, as hard as it is to read, I hope McCurdy's candor will help others.