"Everybody winters at one time or another: some winter over and over again."
"There are gaps in the mesh of the everyday world, and sometimes they open up and you fall through them into somewhere else. Somewhere Else runs at a different pace to the here and now, where everyone else carries on. Somewhere Else is where ghosts live, concealed from view and only glimpsed by people in the real world. Somewhere Else exists at a delay, so that you can’t quite keep pace."
"Wintering is a season in the cold. It is a fallow period in life when you’re cut off from the world, feeling rejected, sidelined, blocked from progress, or cast into the role of an outsider. Perhaps it results from an illness or a life event such as a bereavement or the birth of a child; perhaps it comes from a humiliation or failure. Perhaps you’re in a period of transition and have temporarily fallen between two worlds. Some winterings creep upon us more slowly, accompanying the protracted death of a relationship, the gradual ratcheting up of caring responsibilities as our parents age, the drip-drip-drip of lost confidence. Some are appallingly sudden , like discovering one day that your skills are considered obsolete, the company you worked for has gone bankrupt, or your partner is in love with someone new. However it arrives, wintering is usually involuntary, lonely, and deeply painful."
As much as I enjoyed the book and felt I'd learned a lot from it, I didn't realize just how much until I went back and copied the many sections that I had bookmarked. I'm going to keep those notes handy. I know I'll come out of this period but I know, from experience, that I will have another period. It might not take something as traumatic as losing a parent, but it will come. Next time I will be better prepared. I will know that what I need to do is to allow myself to feel wintering as a need. "It is the courage to stare down the worst parts of our experience to commit to healing them the best we can." We need to understand that we need to allow ourselves to take care of ourselves during this time and to embrace it.