Keep The Memories, Lose the Stuff: Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward with Your Life by Matt Paxton

Keep The Memories, Lose the Stuff: Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward with Your Life by Matt Paxton

320 page

Published February 2022 by Penguin Publishing Group

Publisher's Summary: 

Your boxes of photos, family’s china, and even the kids' height charts aren’t just stuff; they’re attached to a lifetime of memories—and letting them go can be scary. With empathy, expertise, and humor, Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff, written in collaboration with AARP, helps you sift through years of clutter, let go of what no longer serves you, and identify the items worth keeping so that you can focus on living in the present.

 
For over 20 years, Matt Paxton has helped people from all walks of life who want to live more simply declutter and downsize. As a featured cleaner on Hoarders and host of the Emmy-nominated Legacy List with Matt Paxton on PBS, he has identified the psychological roadblocks that most organizational experts routinely miss but that prevent so many of us from lightening our material load. Using poignant stories from the thousands of individuals and families he has worked with, Paxton brings his signature insight to a necessary task. 
 
Whether you’re tired of living with clutter, making space for a loved one, or moving to a smaller home or retirement community, this book is for you. Paxton’s unique, step-by-step process gives you the tools you need to get the job done.

My Thoughts: 

You all know how I'm all about trying to find ways to declutter and organize my home so you'll also know that I'm always on the look out for books that will help me in that process. When Myquillyn Smith (The Nester) recommended this book, I immediately requested it from the library. 

Can I just tell you how much I wish I had read this book when it first came out? It would have made such a difference when it came time, in the summer of 2022, to begin clearing out my parents' home of 50+ years in preparation for my dad's move. In fact the big take away from this book is in the title - the things you have are not what's important, it's the memories those things stir that are what matters. 

I wish we would have spent more time asking my dad about the memories different things brought up and I wish I would have known about the Legacy List at that time. There's a lot of great information in this book for people who are looking to downsize or people who, like me, have to move their parent(s) out of a home they've lived in for a long time. In fact, there's a lot of great information for anyone who is getting ready to downsize and move for any reason, a lot of information on how to decide what to keep, how to find professionals to help with the processes, a lot of information on what steps to take and what order to take them in and all of it would make a great resource to have on hand. 

For me, for now at least, I'm not in the point in my life where this book is as helpful as it might be in another ten years (or, as I said, a couple of years ago). I'm not ready to become a minimalist nor to get rid of 90% of my photos. I have great respect for professionals who can offer valuable assistance in helping others (myself included) reduce the amount of stuff they have. But I sometimes feel like many of them push for a minimalist lifestyle that doesn't suit everyone. Still, there's a lot here that anyone can learn from, particularly those who are making a change in their lives. 

Life: It Goes On - July 28

Whew - that was the both the longest and shortest 3-day weekend ever! Friday I took the day to help Mini-him and Miss C move. Even with a moving company doing all of the heavy lifting, there was still so much to do. I put myself in charge of feeding everyone and keeping them hydrated.  In the middle of all of that, I found them the perfect shelf on Facebook Marketplace and made a run to pick that up. Got home Friday just in time to shower...for the second time that day...so that those two, The Big Guy, and Miss C's parents (can I just tell you how much we enjoyed getting to know them better!) could go out to dinner to celebrate Mini-him's birthday. Followed that up with drinks at a local brew pub. Both an exhausting and fun day! 

Today we hosted a cousin from Denmark and his wife for lunch at my dad's place. Did a lunch of typical middle America lunch, including Nebraska's own Runzas. They are lovely people and we enjoyed their visit. They gifted each of us with a wood pen that he had made which is something that we will all treasure. 

Last Week I: 

Listened To: The Paris Architect by Charles Belfoure. 

Watched: If you know me at all by now, you'll know that I have been watching as much of the Olympics as I can these past few days. I had really thought I'd take some time off of work to watch them - there's almost no sport I won't watch when it comes to the Olympics! 

Read: I'm bouncing guys. I keep opening Netgalley and and reading bits of different books. Just now I'm reading Liane Moriarty's latest, Here One Moment and Kate Atkinson's latest, Death At The Sign of the Rook. 

Made: I've been mostly about buying things that didn't require a lot of cooking this past week. Today I did make a BLT salad and a rhubarb crisp. 

Enjoyed: In addition to the above, we enjoyed dinner out with friends at a new place on Wednesday (delicious food!) and dessert with them last night on their deck. 

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This Week I’m:  

Planning: On getting more of Mini-him and Miss C's stuff out of my basement and over to them and on working on his dresser. 

Thinking About: Once again, someone's move has me rethinking everything we have in our house. Would we take these things if we were moving? If not, it's gonna have to be something we are really enjoying or find really useful in this moment if it's going to stay. 

Feeling: So tired!

Looking forward to: Hopefully a quieter week. Although I have yet to turn my calendar page so I'm not sure that's a reality. 

Question of the week: Did you watch the opening ceremonies? If so, what did you think? 

Before We Were Innocent by Ella Berman

Before We Were Innocent by Ella Berman

Read by Jennifer Jill Araya

11 hours

Published April 2023 by Penguin Publishing Group 

Publisher's Summary: 

A summer in Greece for three best friends ends in the unthinkable when only two return home. . . .

 
Ten years ago, after a sun-soaked summer spent in Greece, best friends Bess and Joni were cleared of having any involvement in their friend Evangeline’s death. But that didn’t stop the media from ripping apart their teenage lives like vultures.
 
While the girls were never convicted, Joni, ever the opportunist, capitalized on her newfound infamy to become a motivational speaker. Bess, on the other hand, resolved to make her life as small and controlled as possible so she wouldn’t risk losing everything all over again. And it almost worked. . . .
 
Except now Joni needs a favor, and when she turns up at her old friend's doorstep asking for an alibi, Bess has no choice but to say yes. She still owes her. But as the two friends try desperately to shake off their past, they have to face reality.

Can you ever be an innocent woman when everyone wants you to be guilty?

My Thoughts: 

Joni drops back into Bess' life after ten years needing a favor and Bess, who has tried to live for the past ten years under the radar, agrees. Why? Because we quickly learn, she owes Joni, or at least both of the women feel like she does. And again, why? 

Ten years ago, Bess, Joni, and Evangeline, three very different girls who would seem to be unlikely friends, but who are inseparable, travel to Greece to stay in one of Evangeline's family's homes. It's the summer after their senior year in high school and they are all headed off in different directions in the fall. This is one last hurrah, one last time for the three of them to be together and to run a little wild. Evangeline has offered to pay for everything, but Bess' parents won't hear of it, insisting on delivering Bess to the airport instead of her traveling in the limousine with the other girls; insisting on paying for her airline ticket, which means that instead of flying first class, in a show of unity, all three fly coach. From that point, fissures begin to appear in the girls' relationships. Weeks stuck in the remote home only serve to make things worse and lead to things that will come back to haunt Joni and Bess later. The arrival of Evangeline's brother amps up the trouble. When the girls decide to travel to another island, things seem to be looking up for a bit...until tragedy strikes. 

The book travels back and forth in time, revealing not only what happened ten years ago, but also the reason Joni needed that favor. A favor that turns out to be much more critical to Joni that it initially appeared to Bess. In traveling back and forth, we gradually learn more about each of the women. The girls they were ten years ago. The women they've become, given what happened to them. The truth as we see it becomes fluid and who did what becomes a bigger and bigger question. 

If you recall the Amanda Know incident, you'll remember the way the authorities and the media treated Knox. You'll immediately understand how Joni and Bess were treated by the Greek authorities and the press, both the Greek and the international press. Think about spending time in a foreign prison as a teenager. Think about the impact that would have on a family and a person's future. When these girls returned, they were different people; people who could no longer be with the people they had been closest to and whose families treated them differently. 

I went back and forth about how I felt about both Bess and Joni and their motives for everything they did from their time in Greece to the present. And about their guilt. Berman kept me guessing right up to the end. The complexity of the relationship between Joni and Bess was interesting - is there anything to hold them together other than the past and is that something that should hold them together or pull them further apart. Berman gives us a good look at the difference between the public image of a person and the reality, especially someone who has died young and those who are accused of crimes. 

I can see why Reese Witherspoon picked novel for her book club - there is a lot to dissect and discuss in this one. Will it make my favorite books of the year list? No. It lacks the warmth, depth, or impact that a book needs to have for it to make that list. And I often wished that it had been edited a bit more; it sometimes felt like it was dragging. But did it make me think? It sure did and that makes it well worth reading. 

Mr. Wrong Number by Lynn Painter

Mr. Wrong Number by Lynn Painter

Read by Callie Dalton and Andrew Biden

8 hours, 27 minutes

Published March 2022 by Penguin Publishing Group

Publisher's Summary: 

Bad luck has always followed Olivia Marshall...or maybe she's just the screw-up her family thinks she is. But when a "What are you wearing?" text from a random wrong number turns into the hottest, most entertaining-albeit anonymous-relationship of her life, she thinks things might be on the upswing....

Colin Beck has always considered Olivia his best friend's annoying little sister, but when she moves in with them after one of her worst runs of luck, he realizes she's turned into an altogether different and sexier distraction. He's sure he can keep his distance, until the moment he discovers she's the irresistible Miss Misdial he's been sort of sexting for weeks-and now he has to decide whether to turn the heat up or ghost her before things get messy.

My Thoughts: 

I recently read and reviewed Lynn Painter's The Love Wager; and, while it wasn't the book for me, I enjoyed the banter and wit enough to give another of her books a shot. Reviews of that one kept comparing it to this one so I decided that if any of Painter's books could make me a convert, Mr. Wrong Number was probably it. 

It wasn't. 

Half of all reviewers on Goodreads give this book 4 or 5 stars. It's clear that for readers of this particular genre, this book gives them everything they want in a book. If you look at the publisher's summary and think this sounds like something you'd like, you probably will. What's clear to me now is that this type of storytelling just isn't for me.  

I struggled from the beginning when Olivia responded to that first text. Because 1) how does she know the text is from a man; and 2) if any man texted me that, I would be done with him. But I got that I needed to buy into that so I kept going. Then it turns out that Olivia is, and always has been, a total screw up. This is a great disappointment to her family, really annoying for her brother's best friend, and something she seems to just write off about herself, as in "oh well, nothing I can do about it." But still, once again, give it a chance, I told myself. And I did; I listened to the entire book. But I never could find any sympathy for a lead character who, while staying at someone else's house drinks half a bottle of previously unopened liquor and doesn't feel like she did anything wrong with it, not even when confronted with the fact that it cost $400; who lies to an employer to get a job; and who accuses Colin of outing her to said employer even though there is no reason for him to do so. 

The storyline itself had potential for me and I was willing to go along with the premise, but it just felt like it could have been so much more. There was opportunity to explore the relationship between Olivia and her mother, for example. Olivia could have come clean to her employer up front and I felt like they still would have wanted her for what she offered. She and Colin could have had more conversations where they learned about each other and found that their assumptions were wrong (I mean, that might have come up while they were lying in bed together after bonking each other). 

All of that being said, again, I just think that this genre is not for me. Others clearly loved this book and Painter's books in general and I'm glad that there are books out there in the wild for readers of all types. As for me, it's time to move on. Perhaps back to what I know, perhaps to give another genre a shot. 

Life: It Goes On - July 21

Happy Sunday - the first Sunday in weeks that it's not sunny on a Sunday morning. Plus side of its having rained the past two days is that I don't have to go out and water plants. Down side is that I haven't been able to get any projects worked on outside. 

Last Week I: 

Listened To: I finished Kelly Corrigan's The Middle Place and started Andrew Pham's Twilight Territory. Last week I referenced it as being the One Book, One World selection for 2024 but this week I'm unable to verify that. Can I find it in my emails where I swear I first heard about it? No, no I cannot. I'm about 2 hours in and I'm not sure if it's something I can continue with due to the violence. Might be easier in print, where I could skim over those parts. I know that was the reality of that time and place (as it is with so many other times and places); I just can't handle reading too much of that at this time. 

Watched: We finally started watching The Bear. It's definitely something you have to pay attention to while you're watching it - things move quickly and the dialogue is rapid fire. 

Read: Finished The Last Mrs. Parrish and today will finish Keep The Memories, Lose The Stuff. Next up, Kate Atkinson's Death At The Sign Of The Rook and DeCluttering At The Speed Of Life. 

Made: Today I'm making rice pudding, something I rarely make in the warm months. But it's cooler today and we somehow have ended up with far more milk that we can consume so it was rice pudding or potato soup and it's not cool enough for potato soup. 

Enjoyed: Not cooking all weekend. Friday we picked up Chinese from a new-to-us place. Last night we went out for burgers...which neither of us ended up ordering. Instead The Big Guy got fish and chips and I got mac and cheese. 

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This Week I’m:  

Planning: Mini-him and Miss C move into a new place next weekend so I'm racing to try to get his dresser done by then. Will pretty much consume most of my free time until then as I've barely started. Will try to remember to get "before" pictures (I'm so bad at remembering to do that!) so you can see where I started and where it ends up...assuming I'm proud of it at that point! 

Thinking About: Mini-him and Miss C are moving on his birthday so I'm trying to figure out how to get his favorite bday foods to the new place for dinner without creating too much extra work. 

Feeling: The overcast skies tend to bring headaches for me so I've been feeling very unproductive the past couple of days. Today I'm feeling better so I'm hoping that lasts. 

Looking forward to: Helping with the move. I know that sounds weird but I love helping people getting settled into new places and watching things come together so it feels like home. Luckily, they hired movers so we won't have to do any heavy lifting this time. 

Question of the week: How has your week been? Have you been keeping abreast of the news politically or are you trying to avoid it as much as possible? 

**The link for this week's book reviews is books that were recommended to me by friends.**

Bear by Julia Phillips

Bear by Julia Phillips

304 pages

Published by Random House Publishing Group - Hogarth

Source: my copy courtesy of the publisher, through Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review

Publisher's Summary: 

They were sisters and they would last past the end of time.

Sam and Elena dream of another life. On the island off the coast of Washington where they were born and raised, they and their mother struggle to survive. Sam works on the ferry that delivers wealthy mainlanders to their vacation homes while Elena bartends at the local golf club, but even together they can’t earn enough to get by, stirring their frustration about the limits that shape their existence.
Then one night on the boat, Sam spots a bear swimming the dark waters of the channel. Where is it going? What does it want? When the bear turns up by their home, Sam, terrified, is more convinced than ever that it’s time to leave the island. But Elena responds differently to the massive beast. Enchanted by its presence, she throws into doubt the desire to escape and puts their long-held dream in danger.
A story about the bonds of sisterhood and the mysteries of the animals that live among us—and within us—Bear is a propulsive, mythical, richly imagined novel from one of the most acclaimed young writers in America.

My Thoughts: 
I can't recall where I first saw this book. I was not approached by the publisher, I don't recall reading any other reviews of it. I can only assume that I found it myself on Netgalley. I would have been drawn immediately to that beautiful cover and then, I assume, to a story about sisters. A look at other reviews will show you that responses to this book are all over the place, much as are my thoughts about the book. Here we have one of those books where I wonder if I just didn't "get" something, where I felt like I needed to spend some time with my thoughts before I decided how I felt about it. 
There's a lot to unpack here. There's an element of the fairytale here. In fact, the book opens with a line from the fairytale Snow White and Rose Red: 

“‘Poor bear,’ said the mother, ‘lie down by the fire, only take care that you do not burn your coat.’”

This line is equally appropriate: 

"The two children were so fond of one another that they always held each other by the hand when they went out together, and when Snow-white said: ‘We will not leave each other,’ Rose-red answered: ‘Never so long as we live,’ and their mother would add: ‘What one has she must share with the other.’"

 At least, it has long been Sam's impression that she and Elena would never be parted, that each of them was the only person the other could trust. It's an impression partly ingrained by the ways life has treated the sisters; but also because of what Elena told Sam years ago, when she told Sam that, when their mother died, the two of them would sell the land and home their grandmother bought and leave San Juan Island. Sam has lived for ten years with the promise that there is hope in her future, that the half million dollar selling price of the land will assure the sisters of a bright future, a chance to put the traumas of their past and a mountain of debt behind them. 

But the bear's arrival begins to expose buried feelings and secrets. Elena finally feels alive and, once again, in touch with the land that fed her soul and helped her survive over the years. In Sam, the bear's arrival raises fear to the surface, not just because of what the threat the bear physically poses but also a because it presents the threat of a rift between Sam and Elena. That fear, coupled with the distrust of authorities so deeply engrained in Sam, causes mounting conflict between the sisters. 

It's hard to find a character in this book that you can attach yourself to, but it's also easy to see how each of them became the person they are now. As the daughters of a woman who works in a nail salon, the wealthier children in town look down on them; as the survivors of an abuser brought into their home by their own mother and whom the system did not protect, they had only each other to turn to; as the caregivers to a dying mother, the sisters are forced to find jobs straight out of high school, jobs that might just pay the bills were it not for their mother's medical bills. 

As the oldest, Elena has always been the one to take charge and she has had to take on not only the care of their mother and a full-time job, but she has also become the person in charge of trying to keep things afloat. Sam moves through life in a bit of a haze, bidding her time for the day she can leave the island and refusing to make any connects with other people who might hurt her. In the end, it's Elena who hurts her; even so, Sam is willing to do whatever it takes to bring Elena back to her with tragic consequences. 

And there, you see, as I thought more about the book, it became clearer to me. Unlike those who either disliked the book or those who loved it, I find myself falling somewhere in between. The Pacific Northwest is vivid and it's hard to imagine wanting to leave it. Phillips has created a unique story, to be sure; it might even be one I'm thinking about long after this.  But I so often wanted to just shake both of the sisters, wanted them to be honest with each other, to stop making stupid mistakes; I struggled with believing that anyone could be so oblivious to the danger as Elena was; and I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about the ending. 

The Morningside by Tea Obreht

The Morningside by Tea Obreht

304 pages

Published March 2024 by Random House Publishing House

Source: my copy courtesy of the publisher, through Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review

Publisher's Summary:

There’s the world you can see. And then there’s the one you can’t. Welcome to the Morningside.

After being expelled from their ancestral home in a not-so-distant future, Silvia and her mother finally settle at the Morningside, a crumbling luxury tower in a place called Island City where Silvia’s aunt Ena serves as the superintendent. Silvia feels unmoored in her new life because her mother has been so diligently secretive about their family’s past, and because the once-vibrant city where she lives is now half-underwater. Silvia knows almost nothing about the place where she was born and spent her early years, nor does she fully understand why she and her mother had to leave. But in Ena there is an opening: a person willing to give the young girl glimpses into the folktales of her demolished homeland, a place of natural beauty and communal spirit that is lacking in Silvia’s lonely and impoverished reality.

Enchanted by Ena’s stories, Silvia begins seeing the world with magical possibilities and becomes obsessed with the mysterious older woman who lives in the penthouse of the Morningside. Bezi Duras is an enigma to everyone in the building: She has her own elevator entrance and leaves only to go out at night and walk her three massive hounds, often not returning until the early morning. Silvia’s mission to unravel the truth about this woman’s life, and her own haunted past, may end up costing her everything.

My Thoughts: 
This is the third book by Obreht I've read (and reviewed) and, as much as I enjoyed the other two, this was by far my favorite of her books. With each book, Obreht explores new territory and new time periods. Inland was set in the American West's past; The Tiger's Wife was set in the Balkans in more or less present day. The Morningside takes us to an unknown land, some time in the future. 

Climate change has wrecked havoc on the planet, wars have taken a further toll. We never know exactly where on Earth Silvia and her mother have finally settled (it might be New York City); it's not particularly relevant, other than to that they have traveled a great distance from a land called Back Home. Which isn't to say that the setting doesn't play an important role in the story - it's, in fact, crucial for Obreht to give readers a full impression of the landscape and the way that rising waters have impacted Island City. Much of what we learn of Island City is in stories told to The Dispatcher, a renegade radio program that allows listeners to tell stories of the city as they knew it and the city as it is now. 

Silvia's mother has told her very little about why they are constantly moving or anything about their family, other than that Silvia has an aunt, Ena. When the Repopulation Program enables them to move to Island City and live in the Morningside, where Ena is superintendent, Ena opens a door to the past and the mystical. Because of Ena's stories (particularly that the three dogs Bezi takes for a walk every evening are actually men), Silvia comes to believe that Bezi Duras might actually be a Vila, a nature spirit capable of vengeful acts when angered. 

Because Silvia can't be enrolled in school, she has a lot of time on her hands. Some of it is spent helping her mother. A great deal of it is spent exploring and trying to determine the truth about Bezi. Along the way, she is helped by Lewis May, a man who used to the be superintendent of the building and makes an arrangement with Silvia whereby she is given a key to the elevator to Bezi's penthouse floor. Even after their deal is completed, May remains a constant in Silvia's life. 

One day a new family moves into The Morningside, one with a mysterious father who isn't much seen but will come to play a big part in Silvia's future, and a daughter who becomes Silvia's only friend and the driving force behind moving Silvia along in learning the truth about Bezi. 

I wouldn't want to be a bookseller or a librarian trying to figure out where to shelve The Morningside; it is equal parts science-fiction (cli-fi, as some are calling it), fairy tale, and dystopian novel. It has an element of magic that I surprisingly loved and some wonderfully unique characters and situations. I wasn't always sure what to make of it. But I loved that I had no idea where the story was going. Even the ending, which ties things up more neatly than I often like, isn't nearly a happily-ever-after and comes with something extra that makes me rethink things right up to the end of the book. Utterly original and one of my favorites of the year. 

Life: It Goes On - July 14

Happy, sunny (here at least) Sunday! It's been a bit of a tough week but things are looking up and the sunshine is definitely helping (even if it is hot out). I read somewhere recently that people with ADHD tend to use parentheses in their writing more because their minds are always going down side tracks. So that's my excuse for that first sentence...and all of the other sentences on this blog that have a ridiculously high occurrence of parentheses! 

Last Week I: 

Listened To: I finished Before We Were Innocent and am about 2/3 of the way through Kelly Corrigan's The Middle Place. Next up is the One World, One Book selection for 2024, Twilight Territory. My dad has started listening to it as well so it will be fun for the two of us to talk about it. 

Watched: A whole lot of HGTV and Magnolia Network. 

Read: Tell Me Everything by Elizabeth Strout. Now finishing up this month's book club selection, The Last Mrs. Parrish. 

Made: Ham sliders and roast beef sliders with King's Hawaiian rolls. What else? No recollection whatsoever. Clearly that meal planning and prepping I talked about doing a few weeks ago and not manifested. 

Enjoyed: My sister and her husband are here this weekend. Friday night we did something that we've never done before - the ladies went off to eat one place and the guys off to another place. I surprised my sister by inviting one of her dear friends here to join us and it was such a cathartic, relaxing and fun evening. I left and was disappointed I had not thought to take a picture of the three of us. Then I remembered that it was good to have been so in the moment that it never occurred to me to pull out my phone. Well, except for the ten minutes or so when all three of us had our phones out while we were talking books, making recommendations, and adding things to our library holds! 

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This Week I’m:  

Planning: No choice now but to get to working on Mini-him's dresser. He and Miss C have found a new apartment and will be moving to a place where they will finally have room for it again. 

Thinking About: A friend died this week of lung cancer. She's been battling it for over three years. Logic completely left me when it came to her diagnosis and ongoing setbacks. I just knew that she would be the person to beat the odds so it's hit me harder than I would have expected to find out that she wasn't. 

Feeling: After months of being mentally exhausted, I find myself finally starting to have the energy to get myself up and moving. I've accomplished so much in the past couple of weeks that has needed to be done for so long. It feels good.  

Looking forward to: Book club on Tuesday. 

Quote of the week: “There are never enough 'I love you's.” - Lenny Bruce

*This week's connection between the books I've reviewed is only that they are books that I read through Netgalley. 

The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom

The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom 

384 pages

Published February 2010 by Atria Books

Publisher's Summary: 

Orphaned during her passage from Ireland, young, white Lavinia arrives on the steps of the kitchen house and is placed, as an indentured servant, under the care of Belle, the master’s illegitimate slave daughter. Lavinia learns to cook, clean, and serve food, while guided by the quiet strength and love of her new family.

In time, Lavinia is accepted into the world of the big house, caring for the master’s opium-addicted wife and befriending his dangerous yet protective son. She attempts to straddle the worlds of the kitchen and big house, but her skin color will forever set her apart from Belle and the other slaves.

Through the unique eyes of Lavinia and Belle, Grissom’s debut novel unfolds in a heartbreaking and ultimately hopeful story of class, race, dignity, deep-buried secrets, and familial bonds.

My Thoughts: 

This is a book that's been on my to-be-read list for years. When I was creating my book club's reading list for 2024, I looked at that list for ideas and noted that this one was also on a lot of lists of best books for book clubs. Before I get into my thoughts on this book, let me tell you two things that may sway your opinion of the book. Number one - every one in my book club really liked this book. Number two - it was a great book for a discussion. That may be, in part, due to my opinions about the book, which pushed people to have to defend it. 

• It felt quite melodramatic and was made more so because everything terrible that could possibly go wrong did. To the point that it lost any tension - I already knew what was going to happen. 
• Too many stereotypes for me - the evil overseer (a la Simon Legree in Uncle Tom's Cabin), the mamee who mothers both her own children and the those in the big house, the damsel in distress lady of the house. 
• Entirely too many cases of miscommunication that lead to tragedies for years. 
• I felt like Grissom missed the boat with Marshall. Fair enough, so many terrible things happened to him growing up - an absent father, sexual abuse at the hands of a man his father defended, his mother's lack of caring for him and idolization of his sister, an attachment to a man who lead him astray, a growing hatred of the enslaved people, and alcoholism. One reviewer suggested the book would have been better if Marshall had been an attentive, loving husband to Lavinia and then an evil man with Belle and the other blacks...a Jekyll/Hyde. I definitely agree. We never see anything redeeming about him after a point. 
• I honestly just want to slap Lavinia again and again. Yes, she was young when she came to the plantation; yes, she was white but raised by and lived with the enslaved people. They were her family. Still, she never really seemed to grasp the division between the two. Then there was a very important packet she saw delivered and then completely forgot about for nearly the entire book; the marriage to Marshall, a man she had already known to have a fiery temper; and her belief that Belle's son's father was a man she might have ended up with had it not been for this and her inability to see what was plain to see just by looking at the boy. 

My book club worked hard to change my mind; but, in the end, I felt like this book missed its very real potential. 

The House of Lincoln by Nancy Horan

The House of Lincoln by Nancy Horan

Read by Sarah Welborn

10 hours, 30 minutes

Published June 2023 by Sourcebooks

Publisher's Summary: 

Nancy Horan returns with a sweeping historical novel, which tells the story of Abraham Lincoln's ascendance from rumpled lawyer to U.S. president to the Great Emancipator through the eyes of a young asylum-seeker who arrives in Lincoln's home of Springfield from Madeira, Portugal.

Showing intelligence beyond society's expectations, fourteen-year-old Ana Ferreira lands a job in the Lincoln household assisting Mary Lincoln with their boys and with the hostess duties borne by the wife of a rising political star. Ana bears witness to the evolution of Lincoln's views on equality and the Union and observes in full complexity the psyche and pain of his bold, polarizing wife, Mary.

Along with her African American friend Cal, Ana encounters the presence of the underground railroad in town and experiences personally how slavery is tearing apart her adopted country. Culminating in an eyewitness account of the little-known Springfield race riot of 1908, The House of Lincoln takes listeners on a journey through the historic changes that reshaped America and that continue to reverberate today.

My Thoughts: 

In all honesty, I didn't even read the summary of this book before I checked it out from the library. I should have. In an effort to get it "read," I chose the audiobook version. I shouldn't have. 

What Didn't Work For Me:

• Sarah Welborn's narration so grated on my nerves that I raised the speed of the audiobook to get through it sooner. For me it felt so stilted. 
• The story telling felt disjointed to me and I was unclear much of the time as to whose story this is. Is it the Lincolns, as told through Ana's eyes? If so, why didn't Horan have her travel with them to Washington? Is it the blacks and how Lincoln ended up effecting their lives? If so, why wasn't the lead character Cal? 
• Once we really got into the story of political Lincoln, the book felt like it was racing along out of control as Horan got to her ending when things slowed back down to get to the part of the story most readers will be unfamiliar with. There wasn't much new material here for me, except that ending. 

What I Liked: 

• The ending of the book and the look at the Springfield race riot of 1908. It was not only a great learning experience for me but a great reminder that the enslaved people may have been emancipated, but that didn't change the way all too many people felt about them. In fact, it may have made life worse for some as whites became fearful of what emancipation might mean for them. 
• Learning the immigrant experience of the Portuguese Protestants, through Ana's family. 
• Horan working in the Douglass/Lincoln debates which allowed for a comparison to present day politics. 

While this wasn't necessarily the book for me (although reading it in print might have helped), I do still believe that there would be a lot here for book clubs to discuss. Horan's Loving Frank was one of my book clubs reads the year it came out and it led to one of our best ever discussions. Certainly, there are a lot of readers who might not read as much (or have been raised with history ever-present, as I was) and who might find a lot to learn from this book. 

Life: It Goes On - July 7

Happy Sunday! Were you all lucky enough to have a four-day weekend, thanks to the Fourth falling on a Thursday? I have thoroughly enjoyed the nice long break but still would like another couple of days since Thursday and Friday flew by. 

Miss H arrived Wednesday night for a short visit; long enough to celebrate both the Fourth and Miss C's birthday. Miss H, Mini-him, Miss C, Big Guy and myself took breakfast to my dad on the Fourth since he is no longer able to get to Lincoln for his old neighborhood's Fourth of July breakfast. We didn't shoot off a single firework (much to Miss H's disappointment) but saw plenty and ate our way through the day. 

Last Week I: 

Listened To: Ella Berman's Before We Were Innocent. Will finish that one this week then I don't know what will be next. My next hold won't become available for eight weeks so I'll either do a little searching today for something that will be available sooner or spend the next few weeks catching up on podcasts. 

Watched: Penelope with Miss H, something we'd watched when she was young but neither or us have seen since. It's got quite the cast but I can see why it never made it big - it's a tough one to put in a handy niche. 

Read: I finally finished Julia Phillip's Bear and I started Elizabeth Strout's latest, Tell Me Everything. I'm only about 25 pages in, but I'm loving being back in the world of Lucy Barton. 

Made: Onion dip, maple bacon dip, steak and chicken kebabs, egg casserole, vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, red velvet cake and my first ever German chocolate cake. Miss C requested German chocolate for her bday and I always make whatever someone requests, but I've had to rely on other people's opinions as to how it turned out since I don't eat coconut. Or pecans. 

Enjoyed: Lots of time with my family, including an unplanned visit from my brother Friday night

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This Week I’m:  

Planning: My sister and her husband arrive for a long weekend visit to see their fathers. So this week is all about getting ready for more company. 

Thinking About: As I rearranged and Tetris'd things into my fridge this past week, I couldn't help but wonder how in the world home organizers, who show us those beautifully organized refrigerators,  account for things like a couple of cakes and extra groceries that need to fit in. And what about containers of leftovers? I've pretty much given up on the idea that I could ever make my refrigerator look organizer beautiful - the best I can hope for is to keep the expired food out of it. 

Feeling: Tired. Haven't been sleeping well the past couple of nights and I'd like nothing more than to sleep for a couple of hours this afternoon. Instead I'll probably pull out a furniture piece to work on and power through. 

Looking forward to: Having my sister here. 

Question of the week: How did you celebrate the Fourth this year?